So I made it to 50 days no contact. I feel really proud of myself. I've taken time for myself and cultivated stronger relationships with the people around me.
however I have noticed one thing. I'm not a very social person and my circle is very small. this is because I have chosen this kind of lifestyle. there are various reasons for this including the fact that I have a very demanding career and that I choose to surround myself with meaningful relationships. I always make time for the people that I love and make sure that I reach out to my friends and see them at least once a month. of course I still have my close friends that I speak to on almost a daily basis. i am so grateful for them...this period has also allowed me to reconnect with others.
but I did notice that now whenever I reach for my phone, I already instinctively know that I won't have any notifications. I don't even know why I look sometimes because I already know that there won't be anything that I have to look at. in the beginning of my breakup this was a huge blow but now I don't really feel anything. instead I look at it like a by the way...it's not something that makes me upset anymore. there have also been people who have shown me the kind of value that I add to their life while I go through this difficult time including my best friend, who basically ghosted me for the entire month of May. this has opened my eyes a lot because she was already distancing herself from me the whole of last year... it's something that I confided in my ex too... about the fact that i don't add much value to any social setting or friendship anymore. but before, this would have hurt me...but now I'm totally fine with her moving on with her life. i know the kind of person i am and how loyal and good i have been to her. i am thankful for the 15+ years we had as best friends and wish her nothing but the best...this was meant to be i guess.
Last updated on:2026-06-02T19:32:49+05:30
Comments (10)
50 days is huge. honestly, the part that stood out to me was how the empty notifications don't seem to control your mood anymore. when i got there, it felt like i was finally getting some of my peace back.
i remember how the days would feel so long in the beginning...but now I don't even feel it, the passage of time has gone back to normal and i don't feel held back anymore.
after my breakup i started noticing who was actually showing up for me and who had quietly checked out long before i admitted it to myself. losing a best friend on top of losing a partner was a different kind of grief
i hear you dude. it's painful... especially when it becomes apparent that you were the one making all the effort to keep these relationships afloat.
do you feel totally at peace with your best friend drifting away, or do you think some of that hurt just hasn't caught up with you yet?
i think I'm totally at peace. it hurt me a lot a while ago but now i think i feel lighter coming to terms with it all. people come and go and perhaps in this life we gave each other all that we were meant to. she also got married last year, this year was when she'd be doing the religious ceremony. she was meant to do it in our home country but she changed the venues all of a sudden to where her and her husband live now...she also ghosted me for months on end at a certain point and would always be apologetic when she finally reached out. the last i heard from her properly was about two months ago and I've come to understand that i can't always be the one making an effort. i wish her well in this new chapter, really i do. she began keeping things from me and that was my first sign that we were drifting apart.
congrats on making it to days 50! I also have a very small circle. After my breakup I felt empty but couldn't pinpoint what it was. I knew the relationship was over so I didnt want him back, I reached out to people, filled my life with activities such as hikes. Everything felt good except there was something missing.
I realised I was searching for more connection. I listened to a podcast that said, even though we have triggers, its important to look for those moments of "glimmers". So i became more present in interactions with strangers, smiling more during what was previously seen as mundane. Pouring more love into my work instead of counting down to break time or home time. All of a sudden, my life got brighter
this is so true! and this is also the attitude that I've adopted and honestly i can say that I've seen the difference...i feel happier, I'm even making an effort to converse with my colleagues more...
keep your head up, keep moving forward, and know you're not alone friend ❤️
Awww
I just started mine
I hope I will make it up to you 🌹