My girlfriend and I broke up on mutual terms because of religion. We both still cared about each other but my family could never accept the relationship.
I grew up in a very religious household and I've always been honest with my family about my life. After I introduced her to them as a friend they found out about our relationship and from that point on it felt impossible. Every time I tried to defend her or keep the conversation open it ended the same way. I was told the door was open if I wanted to leave and then home would feel cold for days. It usually took weeks before things felt "normal" again.
We're in no contact now and I'm struggling. For anyone whose relationship ended because of outside circumstances instead of falling out of love was it harder to move on? Did you stay friends block each other or eventually find your way back together?
I still want to be with her but I also wanted my family to accept her because she deserved that. At this point I don't think that's ever going to happen and it breaks my heart.
I still have some of her clothes and the tickets I bought for our one-year anniversary. The concert is a few months away. Part of me wants to mail everything to her with a handwritten letter just so she has what's hers and knows I truly wanted her to have that gift.
The other part of me worries that reaching out will only reopen the wound and make things harder for both of us.
I miss her every day. I'm confused emotionally exhausted and carrying a lot of guilt. I really do want what's best for her even if I'm the reason we couldn't be together.
Last updated on:2026-07-12T09:14:36+05:30
Comments (7)
My ex-fiancée’s mom got way too involved in our relationship, and frankly for someone who is 28-years-old, I think my ex depended on her mom way too much regardless of our relationship. After the first few months, her mom told her she should leave me and find some guy who is over 6 ft tall, is a millionaire, and doesn’t care about what she does. We met through the local Trad Cath parish, but her mom hated religion and struggled with substance abuse and complained non-stop about her ex (my ex-fiancée’s father). My fiancée had a troubled past so that’s why she turned to Traditional Catholicism on the internet, but I grew up in that community irl. At some point we realized we weren’t going to stop having premarital sex so she stopped adhering to the religion altogether which I thought was like throwing the baby out with the bath water. Anyway, her mom used this as an opportunity to get an in. Eventually, her values completely eroded and she pretty much turned into her mom two months before the wedding date.
You seem like a good guy, and your relationship didn’t last a full year, so the outcome is somewhat understandable. It hurts when your presence feels unwelcomed by your partner’s parents though once it becomes clear things are getting serious and you haven’t done anything wrong.
being pulled between love and family pressure like that feels like you’re getting split in half and still expected to choose cleanly. i’ve been there with family rules that made someone i loved feel “not allowed,” and it messed with my head for a long time.
do you think your family ever leaves space for that conversation to change, or is it more like the door only opens if you fully step away from her?
That sounds like a really uncomfortable awful situation to be in. To use religion to get interested way of love and connection is ridiculous. I think you need to assess what's more important to you.
religion strikes again. The evil of the world
are YOU religious? don’t let your family dictate who you love
I’m sure she’d appreciate the letter and photos. Just be careful not to write anything you wouldn’t want anyone else to read.