Why i’m choosing growth over grief in my breakup

4 wks ago

- He cares about me.

- He has his struggles and I have mine that affected our relationship.

- The relationship ended in a way that deeply hurt me.

- I could not fix the things he struggled with for him.

-I deserve a relationship/love that was accompanied by repair, consistency, and mutual effort.

I know he has his struggles. I know life has been unkind to both of us. I know I have alot of growing to do, and so does he. I know that he cares, but he is not showing up to repair, he is not choosing to come back at this time. That is okay. I am okay. I am okay with living my own life, having my own experiences, understanding my own traumas and growing from this experience. No matter how painful this has been for me. All of has happened for a reason, its apart of life and love. Its apart of growth. I'm thankful for what I did experience with him, as hard as it was sometimes. It's made me into the person I am today. A version of myself that can sit and accept lose in a healthy way instead of collapsing into myself. A version of myself that recognizes my flaws and CHOOSES to change. I'm thankful for this time. Now I put his book on the shelf. I choose to hold love for him, choose to hold onto the idea of repair without self abandonment, but i also choose to not live in that anymore. I choose to build where my life is now, and how much it has expanded. I choose to build something new, that works for were I am now.

Last updated on:2026-07-02T03:34:17+05:30

Comments (8)

skyflysad 4 wks ago

every time i wanted to wait for him, i chose myself instead. it felt impossible at first, then it slowly became my normal.

Swanfeather 4 wks ago

do you feel like you're truly at peace with putting his book on the shelf, or are there still days when you quietly hope he'll come back and choose repair?

xoxoboi 3 wks ago

I always hold the hope of repair, I just dont live my days in it anymore. Currently just grieving.

6585PC 4 wks ago

i got to a place where i could love my ex and still admit we couldn't build the relationship we both needed. that was such a hard line to find, but it finally brought me some peace.