My ex and I have been trying to make something work for the last month but it is incredibly toxic. The effort we are putting in is so low, because we both remember the trauma.
My nervous system was constantly on high alert. Every phone call we had had the potential to turn toxic and have me tossing and turning all night unable to sleep.
After a breakup, we tend to remember the nights and mornings together, the trips, the laughs, the intimate moments. Your brain tricks you into thinking you want your ex back.
I stood her up today because she messages me saying "Morning", which is a pathetic effort. We were supposed to go shopping today but I called her and told her she is not meeting my standard. She said she did not want to argue with me and we hung up the phone.
The version of our ex that is in our mind is not the version that exists in reality today. Protect your headspace and heart, think twice before going back.
Last updated on:2026-07-17T06:28:08+05:30
Comments (8)
Thinking of you on your last day of work today. I hope it goes OK.
It means so much lovely. Thank you. I'm just busy training the new guy so no chance to think about her much. She is not working mornings today so atleast I have a clear run for most of the day. I really hope she is not working afternoons as I really never wanna see her again.
i'm glad you paid attention to how your body was reacting. when i realized i was losing sleep and waiting for the next argument, i knew love alone wasn't enough to make it work.
It took me over a month before I realised it was the toxic relationship. Ive lost so much weight becomes my appetite and sleep were wrecked. Im slowly now starting to eat and sleep again. My biggest problem is I work with her so have to cross paths almost everyday.
were you missing the version of the relationship that existed before all the hurt happened?
Yes. When we first met we were crazy about each other. There was excitement and energy. But with time, the trauma has made things sour. For example a few weeks ago we went on an amazing date, and then the very next day she became anxious and put her walls back up.
i missed the memories so much that i forgot how anxious i felt every single day we were together. getting back together just brought all that stress right back.
how long did you date before and how long have you been dating now? The anxiety of not being secure in a relationship is so annoying. It impacts your life so much