Been with my boyfriend for 5 years. We’re both in our late 20s now. We first knew each other in high school and reconnected in our early 20s. Over the years we built a life together met each other’s families got engaged picked our wedding date and started planning everything.
He was always there for me thoughtful and I truly believed we balanced each other out even though we were different people. I thought we were building our future together.
Then 8 months before our wedding he suddenly told me he had fallen out of love with me. He said he wasn’t sure if I was the right person for him questioned if I really loved him for who he was and started bringing up things he felt were wrong about me. He said I was too quiet at social gatherings that my choices around waiting until marriage didn’t align with him that I wasn’t stylish enough and that he didn’t feel appreciated.
While we were trying to work things out I was apologizing for the things I had done that hurt him and trying my best because I loved him and wanted us to be okay. What hurt was that I had no idea he felt this way for so long. He used to tell me I was perfect that he was grateful to do life with me and I believed we were happy.
During that period he also said some really painful things. He told me it felt like “cooties” when I touched him that I was boring and should be boring with someone else that he couldn’t picture me as his wife and that he couldn’t see me walking down the aisle.
He also told me he had cheated on me 2 years ago. He kissed someone from school a few times over the course of a week.
Eventually he ended the relationship because he said he couldn’t move forward without those feelings being there. The hardest part is that this all came as a complete shock. I thought we were working toward our happily ever after while he was quietly questioning everything.
Sometimes I blame myself for the things I could’ve done differently. Maybe I could’ve been more appreciative more outgoing more stylish. But he was holding onto these feelings without letting me know and I never had the chance to understand what was happening before everything fell apart.
Last updated on:2026-07-13T19:48:12+05:30
Comments (6)
my ex spent months telling me everything was fine, then dumped a whole list of reasons on me at the end too. finding out they'd been carrying those thoughts alone made me question EVERYTHING
you might find the book ‘Runaway Husbands’ by Vikki Stark helpful. it is specifically about a type of person who acts completely happy and content and walks out on their partner leaving them in huge shock. It might bring you comfort as it emphasises how this is not your fault AT ALL
i keep coming back to the cheating part. did you feel like he started rewriting the whole relationship after admitting that, almost to make leaving feel easier for himself?
it sounds like he was just nit picking because he didn't have the courage to tell you that he just wasn't feeling it anymore. I wouldnt take on board any of those 'reasons'. If they were true issues you would have known about them earlier.
You sound like a woman who knows what she stands for and what she wants in life. His loss. He's not the one honey, sorry. You'll definitely find better than this man and he'll regret losing you.
felt.. keep going dear