I started talking to a 20-year-old woman and after about a week of getting to know each other we went on our first date. It went really well and we ended up going on a few more dates after that. She kept telling me how much she liked me and I started getting attached.
Then she told me she wasn’t ready for a relationship yet and asked if I would be willing to wait for her. I agreed because I genuinely like her and wanted to see where things could go.
A few days later she told me she feels like she needs to hook up with other people to help herself heal from her previous relationship. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with that but since we aren’t officially together I felt like I didn’t really have the right to tell her what to do.
The part that really hurt was when she told me she was planning to have a threesome with her best friend and her best friend’s boyfriend even though I had already told her that hearing about things like that was painful for me.
I know we aren’t technically dating so I understand it isn’t cheating. But we’re at a point where we’ve almost told each other I love you and the only reason we haven’t started a relationship is because she still has feelings for her ex.
I’m trying to respect her choices but I’m struggling with how I feel about all of this. Am I wrong for feeling hurt and uncomfortable or is it fair that this situation is affecting me?
Last updated on:2026-07-17T01:18:09+05:30
Comments (5)
she doesnt care about you she likes knowing that she has you at her feet to use you when she wants if she loved you she would be at your side she is stringing you along incase her ex or whoever she likes next doesnt come along do yourself a favor break free and never looks back she is a narcissist and sick person to tell you about sexual encounters knowing how you feel about them she is hurting you on purpose move on please
i didn't have to wait for someone who was asking me to put my own feelings aside. if hearing about other people hurts this much already, i'd take that seriously.
did she actually ask you to wait while she hooks up with other people, or did you decide to wait on your own? those feel really different to me.
i waited for someone who kept saying "just give me time," and every new detail about who he wanted instead of me chipped away at me. you're not wrong for feeling hurt, i'd have been crushed too.
Let her live her life. I think you are hurt that this specific person isn’t aligned with your personal expectations and you are focusing more on that (outward) than creating a clear vision of the relationship you want (inward) and seeking someone on the same page. Take responsibility for the fact that not all connections are meant to be a solid relationship and put more stock in finding someone aligned rather than hoping someone will be the way you want them to be for you.