Why did i go back? my struggle with missing him

I thought I was do8ng well I was healing I was still cyberstalking and texting him stupid meaningless texts about insurance or things we knew about I guess making an excuse to talk to him...so maybe not that good but I was starting to feel better then as if he knew he texted me telling me all the sweet things I wanted to hear I went over I knew I shouldn't of I have a sinking feeling in my stomach but I went anyway we hooked up I thought we might get back together I was ready for the consequences God I missed him soo much then the next day we texted for awhile then silent I drove by after work he wasnt home I texted asking if he was ok he texted back saying he was asleep ...obviously a lie then I went back later there was another car in his driveway like an idiot I was banging on the door obviously he didnt answer and now I am back at square one 😮‍💨😒🥺😭 I blocked him for a couple of hours I keep texting but dont send them I keep telling myself its because when he texts I want to tell him off which part of me knows I wont ignore him I took the day off because it was heavy today.. which is ridiculous because I have soo much in my life that I need to work on and all I can think about is this stupid boy who doesnt love me anymore. im gonna start taking better care of myself my finances and hopefully get over this im so tiered 4 years of back and forth I thought he was soo good to me the best boyfriend I ever had I know I broke up with him first but this is what it took to make me walk away...I also feel like a real shitty mom because it didnt take him being mean ti my kids to leave him it took me seeing him with another woman, I might look into therapy..anyway I feel hopeful today

Last updated on:2026-07-17T19:03:56+05:30