So since he broke up with me and hasn't talked to me since (I tried twice during these 6 weeks) Ive had a lot of time to think about the relationship. We had a long distance relationship for 5 years after living together 2 years. I am older than him, 4 years. And it never seemed to matter. But the more I look at it, the more I notice how I have supported him, helped him in every life situation. Helped him study, helped him organize, stood next to his hospital bed when he was really sick. He has a chronic illness of the bowel and he didn't take care of himself during the last years, gained a lot of weight and just wasn't healthy.
Since we were planning on moving together I knew that I had to help him get better again. And tbh I would not have minded. But talking about kids was what tipped everything.
People keep telling me I was like a "mum", helping and not really giving him space to grow. I mean we did long distance. He had plenty of space to grow. I also kept telling him, that I wanted him to realize to take care of himself. He never really did..
So now it makes it even harder knowing that a) he doesn't want me in his life anymore, b) he's probably going to take care of himself now and c) I gave a lot, was loyal and am now left with no apartment, no job and an unclear future...
Last updated on:2026-07-20T14:28:47+05:30
Comments (5)
i keep thinking about one thing, did he ever thank you or admit how much you were carrying while you were together, or did it slowly become expected?
He did thank me. So I do think he realized what I did for him, but he never changed in a way that was healthy.
But that was earlier. Before the kids thing.
And tbh I was always scared, that he could end up in a hospital because he wasn't taking care of himself. I didn't want to do a lot of traveling because of his condition. Like travel to India or Argentina, right after he was hospitalized. And he got so mad at me..
Now I booked two flights, going to New Zealand and Mexico to work. I hope that by the time Im there I will be in a different mind set.
I still hope he will change, realize what I did for him, how much I loved him. But I dont know if I could ever see past this. And its probably not good to go back to someone who hurt you like this and doesn't show remorse...
i was the one who always showed up too, appointments, bills, every little crisis, and when it ended i kept wondering why my love wasn't enough. that kind of loss cuts deep.
He did help me out too. But I just think in the situations that were a little more intense, I was the one pulling for the both of us.
the ridiculous things is, that I still hope that he sees what he has lost and changes..
reading this situation i feel as if this says a lot about your character than it does him. dont let anyone make you feel bad for helping your partner out I believe that is the whole point of a relationship is coming together as total strangers and building eachother up into the versions of eachother that you have always wanted to be. I know this is hard to hear right now but I am a firm believer that we come across temporary people for a reason we learn what we need from eachother and even tho it is sooo hard to loose tha connection we carry those lessons and never make the same mistakes because although you did the right thing there is a difference between helping and them taking advantage of you and I believe thats a lesson you have to take away from this because a relationship should be equal parts helping eachother and although you were giving to him I didn't hear the part where he helped you. and you deserve that I just know you do and you will find it you will find someone who contributes to you as much as you contribute to them i hope this helps a little 🫂❤️🩹🫶🏽