I’m currently dealing with something and could really use some advice on what steps to take.
I’m still in contact with my ex since the breakup. When she ended things she said she still wanted me in her life and felt like she needed some space to figure herself out. During that conversation she told me she still loves me cares about me misses me and still sees me as her best friend.
Since then I’ve continued messaging her casually trying to keep things friendly but honestly it’s been painful for me. A lot of people have suggested going no contact and I’ve been seriously considering it.
The thing holding me back is the fear that if I stop reaching out she’ll feel like I abandoned her become upset with me or think I don’t value the friendship. I’m scared that creating distance will push her away even more.
Deep down I still want to reconcile and fix things between us. But I don’t know what the right move is. If I keep talking to her like friends I’m worried we’ll slowly become just friends and I’ll lose the chance of getting back together. But if I go no contact I’m afraid she’ll resent me and it will make things worse.
I feel stuck and don’t know what to do. Has anyone been through something similar or have any advice?
Last updated on:2026-07-21T21:01:12+05:30
Comments (5)
i’ve been in that spot where i was trying to prove i still cared while quietly hurting myself. taking space doesn’t mean you stopped loving her, sometimes it’s the only way you can hear your own thoughts again.
i stayed “friends” because i was scared losing contact meant losing him forever, but every little conversation kept reopening the wound.
She broke up with you believing it was the right thing for her, do the right thing for you, love yourself as much as you love her and protect yourself first. If she loves you, she'll understand why you need to preserve yourself and rebuild. I wish you the best.
when you talk to her now, do you feel calmer afterward or do you usually end up hoping for signs that she wants to come back
I think if something is meant to be 30 days is not going to kill it. can you express how you feel to her and explain why you think its important for yourself to have a break. it sounds like it would be good for both of you