Why did he cheat after 7 years?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 7 years and early in our relationship we agreed that we wouldn’t have friends of the opposite gender. I was okay with that because I didn’t really have any guy friends anyway.
Three weeks ago I found out he cheated on me and went to another state with another woman. I was completely blindsided but what hurt even more was finding out that he had apparently been cheating on me with the same person for most of our relationship.
Throughout our relationship he was always checking my phone. I didn’t mind at first because I had nothing to hide but I eventually stopped allowing it after one incident where he took my phone and drove away with it.
A few days ago it was my best friend’s birthday. She had a birthday dinner with some friends followed by karaoke. I invited one of my female friends and at dinner there were a few other girls and my best friend’s boyfriend which I had no issue with.
After dinner we went to a coffee shop where my best friend was meeting more friends. Some of her male friends showed up while we were there along with more girls she was waiting for. I had already ordered my drink so I stayed for about 15 minutes until it was ready and then planned to leave.
While I was there my boyfriend/ex-boyfriend started FaceTiming me. I already felt like he was calling to check what I was doing and potentially start an argument. As I was leaving with my female friend my best friend asked to take a video of everyone together. I immediately felt anxious because I knew my ex might see it and assume the worst.
He had my location and he ended up driving past the coffee shop and saw that I was there. He asked if there were guys around. I avoided answering directly because I knew it would turn into a fight. I told him there weren’t any guys at dinner but there were going to be guys at the karaoke event my friend planned which was one of the reasons I decided to leave.
Later he saw the video and completely exploded. He accused me of cheating with my best friend’s friends even though I kept explaining that they weren’t my friends and that I was only there briefly. I was around these guys for maybe 15 minutes.
He called me names including a whore and said things that really hurt me. Part of the reason I didn’t want to tell him everything or invite him was because I already knew how he would react.
What confuses me is that he cheated on me yet he’s acting like I’m the one who betrayed him. He even said he should have just been hanging out with girls the whole time.
Am I just dealing with a “wrong place wrong time” situation or is he blowing this completely out of proportion to justify what he did to me? I have never cheated or done anything to hurt him but he acts like I’m the one who needs to defend myself.

Last updated on:2026-07-28T18:11:52+05:30