I posted recently that I’m only in no contact because I had no other choice. Today, however, I got a half-hearted congratulations on a post I shared; half-hearted in the sense that this was the love of my life I was getting a congratulations message like he’s a stranger passing by.
Anyway, I actually did it today- he knows I’m in love with him and I want him but I told him (2 days ago) I want the version of him that loves me without hurting me.
I didn’t answer him today. I really wanted to. I miss him so much- I love him.
He knows that though; he knows what I need and what I want and I know I’ll be dragging out my pain making small talk. So, I was very brave today. The bravest I’ve ever been.
Last updated on:2026-08-02T14:05:00+05:30
Comments (5)
when he sent that congratulations message, what did the part of you that wanted to reply hope would happen? was it just hearing from him, or were you hoping he’d finally show up differently?
There was a part of me that really wanted to ask (again) if he’s sure I’m not what he wants. I’ve told him though- there’s no way to rephrase or magic words that will get through to him because he already knows what I need.
If he could give me what I need, and if he says as much- then it would be different. I can’t survive another round of whatever tf it was that made him treat me like he did, so it’s change or nothing.
i had to stop accepting little pieces of love when i was begging for the whole thing. choosing yourself while still loving someone is such a painful kind of strength.
i wanting to reply so badly just to feel close again. i had to learn that a tiny conversation could reopen everything i was trying so hard to heal from. you were so brave today
This is a huge step. you have taken back some of your power. guard it fiercely and you will grow stronger.