Extremely long post and late update.
Last I updated here, is we were in no contact. On August 2, I decided to go to church and surrender him to God. I made a decision there to thank God for giving me him and apologizing for not being able to make him stay. I surrendered it to God and relieved myself of worry and thinking anymore. I stalked his accts and his friends acct one last time that night.
But then on August 4, he reached out to me asking if I need something from him, is to just chat him and not stalk his friends. I said I was sorry and will not have a repeat of it. He then pushed on the matter why do I need to stalk his friends, and before I can even reply he stated that he is also scared of messaging me so he understands. He misses me greatly, our routines and our conversations, my presence. But he still believes this distance is what we need.
We got to talking what happened the past few days around us, and we also talked again how we both are hurting each other. How he hurts me by withdrawing and how I hurt him by pressure.
We still aren't okay. He reposted a tiktok saying "when something happened and you opened your conversation then realized you are no longer talking" that same day.
We badly miss each other, i miss him more so. But yeah, our conversation in Aug 4 ended there.
Then I reached out on August 8, cuz I was being kicked out from our house and had nowhere to go to. He cant accommodate me in their house with valid reasons of family and also far away from jobs, and also the awkward situation which I understand. Its just I panicked at the time cuz, I have no friends that can accommodate me too so I figured. But he did offer cash to lend, but I refused since I didn't have a place to move to yet.
Anyways, thankfully my parents came in to their senses and didn't push through with kicking me out, just let me outside for an entire day.
And lastly, I reached out today on August 12, cuz I saw he posted on his Instagram dump acct, story which he had a massive bandage on his head and the caption stating the he had an accident.
I said "I saw your story, I hope youre okay and please take care of yourself" he replied with "yeah im good" and I just left a heart react.
A lot has happened and it completely derailed every plan I had and I believe any chance of reconciliation. I am absolutely devastated, awashed and filled with emotions.
Last updated on:2026-08-13T20:46:12+05:30
Comments (4)
honestly the thing that helped me was stopping myself from making every contact into a sign about the future. he can miss you deeply and still believe the distance is needed, and i had to let those two things exist together.
i feel how badly you're hurting here. when he says he misses your routines and conversations, then keeps the distance, what part of that conversation keeps replaying in your head the most?
how he misses me, but the part where he chooses the distance always reminds me that this is what we truly need
i've been through that awful space where every little interaction with an ex feels like it could mean reconciliation, then you're left staring at a short reply wondering what it actually meant.