I’ll mourn and cry for days and days and then I’ll start to feel a bit better. The escalation and official breakup was like a month and a half ago. He wasn’t nice to me. His messages after weeks of ghosting me were cold and critical and I didn’t deserve it.
The silence following my last request has been so deafening - I told him to commit and finally get me a ring and let that be the start of rebuilding, or to leave me to lick my wounds. I was in a better place until he contacted me. I was as doing really well with no contact and starting to feel like I might survive this
I deactivated my insta account, but I’m still checking my phone hundreds of times a day, my chest feels tight again, I dream of him every night still.
I just feel like my sudden grief and sadness has seeped into my bones- I’m not sad anymore, I’m depressed.. I’m haunting myself, functioning off of auto pilot and the bare minimum needed to survive each day. I don’t have energy to enjoy anything I used to enjoy and my self esteem is rock bottom.
Sometimes I wonder if getting back into a socialising routine would help and I’m tempted to contact people from my past or I’ll wonder if I should consider some kind of international match making route but even though I know it’s over, I still feel like his girl. I’m scared I’ll always be his and he doesn’t want me.
Last updated on:2026-08-17T21:25:05+05:30
Comments (6)
when you say you still feel like you’re “his girl,” do you think you’re grieving him, or the future you kept hoping he’d finally choose with you?
Both, the carpet has been pulled from under my feet and I keep getting hit by this wave of grief every few days and it’s like it just happened all over again
i’d get around people again, even if you only have enough energy for a coffee or a short walk.
i was doing so much better with no contact, then one message from my ex brought the whole ache rushing back. it felt like i’d lost all my progress overnight.
I understand you so well. I went through a very similar experience. For weeks, I could barely eat properly, I even struggled to drink enough water, and I lost 10 kilos. I looked so pale and thin that when I went to work, everyone thought I was sick and kept trying to make me eat. This lasted for about a month.
It’s been a month and a half since my breakup, and I’m seeing a psychologist tomorrow. I found the Beck Depression Inventory online, and when my results showed signs of depression, I decided to seek professional support.
People come into our lives and eventually leave. But at the end of the day, the person who will always be there for you is yourself. So for now, try to focus on yourself rather than him or finding someone else. Your priority should be getting yourself back on your feet. Socializing and spending time with people can definitely help, but you don’t have to force yourself into a new relationship or start looking for someone else.
And please, if you’ve been feeling this low for this long, consider getting professional support. You don’t have to carry all of this alone.
its normal to feel like that and honestly crying helps u feel relived after crying but the pain won't automatically go away it'll take time sometimes another person but u need to be mentally ready for that just don't isolate yourself