I only really ever dated girls (1 online & 1 both irl & online which was my most recent one) - i also had 3 others (online) but I don't necessarily count them only because they did not last long AT ALL (2 weeks - a month) and dated 1 boy online in 2022 | was lesbian for about i think 2 years and ive always been EXTREMELY open about that and now I'm starting to like a boy but I know I don't like him for his gender i like him for his personality and how he is so I had looked into more sexualities and kind of figured I fit more into Pansexual than anything because even when I dated my ex-gf i didn't like her for her gender i liked her for who she was/her personality) but i didn't think about it like that at all until the start of this month really and I just feel extremely guilt about it because when she started dating this man about just over a month after our breakup (5 years older - 23 🙄) I was very p*ssed and it was because she claimed to be lesbian for around 6 years and I felt lied to (she's now bisexual or pansexual) and i was also p*ssed because why are you dating someone when you technically JUST turned 18 and it made me feel like he was waiting for her to be legal (still does...) and I also kept telling myself "I dont get it because i only like women and im very open about that" but then look at me now im liking a boy and I just feel SO MUCH GUILT!!! Both towards my ex-gf (mainly bc i was pissed that she changed her sexuality and i felt like i was lied to all along.. and also how much older she dated bc she only ever dated 2 people around her age - same age - her first ex-gf, and a year younger - me) and now myself because I have so much guilt about it all...
Last updated on:2026-09-25T14:38:21+05:30
Comments (4)
are you feeling more guilty about how you judged her when she moved on, or is it mostly about letting go of that lesbian identity you held for so long?
i feel more guilty about how I judged her
when my brain started spiraling with hypocrite thoughts, i wrote down a firm reminder that labels are meant to describe us, not trap us forever. giving yourself permission to just like who you like without needing to justify every shift to your past self is the best gift you can give yourself right now.
so, you are looking for something else like this and move on