I spent Thanksgiving with my ex for the first time. I bought turkey costume for his daughter and we put her in a pot in oven and took pictures of her. it will definitely go down in history as one of my most memorable and favorite thanksgivings. it is hard to be a part for my ex and his daughter on Thanksgiving. I left him in January and I haven't seen him ever his daughter since. we have gone no contact on and off for a month here and a month there and for 4 months. we tried to get back together a month ago but it didn't work out. my birthday is coming up in less than 2 weeks and he did mention it when we spoke last. I'm very nervous about him contacting me on my birthday and at ruining my birthday. I have planned to spend my birthday with my parents and my nephew and we are going to a light show in Stanley Park. I bought me and my nephew light up jackets and light up running shoes. I'm really looking forward to it. I just don't want my ex to ruin my day. he was verbally and physically abusive. I've changed my phone number and blocked him everywhere I can. I have blocked his email but just in case he gets through. I actually put on vacation reminders on my email for a few days around my birthday and on my birthday that says this account is no longer in service. I don't think he's going to reach out to me on my birthday because my family no longer likes him and that was one of the reasons why he stops speaking to me. also he didn't like that. I wanted to get him an STD test before having sex if we got back together. he didn't like that. I wanted him to go to intimacy counseling before we got back together. he didn't like the boundaries I was putting in place. he said he wanted to put in the work but he never ever followed through. I think in the end I think he thought it was best to go back to his girlfriend who is probably not asking all of this from him and who he probably hasn't physically abused yet. so holidays and milestones aren't easy without him because of course there were good times. supposed to go over to my sister's for dinner but I'm avoiding it. her parents who live upstairs because I rent their basements. we have been sick over the last 2 weeks and they were really grumpy. I'm avoiding going to Thanksgiving, not because I don't want to be around them but because my sisters father-in-law is really ill and I just need a break from being around elderly people who are sick because it reminds me that my parents are also elderly and Ill and won't be here for much longer and I'm single all alone with no kids or husband or boyfriend and I don't want to die alone. and I was just curious if there's anybody else out there who's celebrating Thanksgiving this weekend and feeling all alone because they miss celebrating it with their ex. I have family that I am close with and I'm lucky to have them but the holidays weren't the same after you've been with someone who you love. Christmas is also going to be difficult for me because I spent it with my ex and my family and I really felt like a family with my ex and his daughter and I've never felt that way with every anyone I was dating before. so if anyone has any vice or feedback on how to get through the holidays when you're single for the first time after being in love. I know I've made the right choice by not letting him back into my life and changing my numbers and blocking him and I know I can't let him back into my life because we just keep going in circles about the same argument that he can't let go of. it doesn't mean that it's easy. I'm currently in a support group with other women who have been abused and I see a counselor so you don't have to worry about me. I'm also very close with my parents and my sister. it's just hard sometimes.
Last updated on:2026-10-14T12:01:06+05:30
Comments (9)
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what does that mean?
Thank you for sharing your story so I don't feel all alone. your kind words really helped.
is that anxiety about him breaking through keeping you up at night
yes
when those holiday waves hit, i survived by just leaning into the tiny silly moments with my family, like hyper-focusing on making light-up shoes work for a night out, and letting myself skip the family dinners that felt too heavy to carry.
don't look so far ahead, take small strides. at least you have a support group, I have to battle it on my own.
i know that heavy, suffocating ache of missing a kid you loved like your own while staying away from a man who used his hands and words to HURT you. i spent a whole Christmas alone in a quiet apartment after walking away from my violent ex, grieving the happy family moments while trying to remind myself that the safety i have now is worth every single tear.
Thank you for sharing your story so don't feel alone. your kind words really helped