i have been single for the last six years. people often react with surprise and tell me i'm pretty kind smart and that anyone would be lucky to have me. but if that's true why has my experience with love felt so different?
even without being in a relationship i've still experienced heartbreak. the worst was a guy i met in 2024. i've blocked him everywhere yet somehow he still finds a way to live in my head. what hurts most is knowing i kept letting him back in and every time he did the same thing he hurt me.
he was the first person i was truly drawn to physically and i never realized how much that would affect me. since him i haven't been able to feel attracted to anyone else. he presented himself as this caring family-oriented man someone who would make an incredible partner and father. looking back i know much of that image wasn't real. still part of me keeps chasing the version of him i met at the beginning.
the hardest part is that i know i deserve better.
i love deeply. when people i care about are hurting i show up. i cook for them listen to them make time for them and do everything i can to make sure they don't feel alone. loving people comes naturally to me. it's one of my best qualities but sometimes it feels like the very thing that leaves me wounded.
i give so much of myself to the people i care about especially romantically and it rarely feels returned. somehow i always end up carrying the heartbreak.
maybe love just isn't meant for me right now. maybe it's simply not my time. i don't know.
all i know is that i'm tired of hurting.
thanks to anyone who took the time to read this. i think i just needed to let it out.
Last updated on:2026-06-11T00:55:11+05:30
Comments (5)
The opportunities you have right now are everything, anything. Do whatever you, when you want, with grace and kindness. You're focused too much on a relationship. You need tobfind happiness within yourself and everything else will fall into place in time.
Such bad things often happen to kind-hearted persons, like you. Be strong.
Girl, I want to hug you... Some pieces of your story hit home for me, too.
People love to offer that generic comfort because they honestly don't know what else to say, but it just feels dismissive of the frustration you are actually carrying. Being told you are a catch doesn't do a thing to fix the exhaustion of feeling like you are stuck in a loop.
I feel this in my soul. thank you for making me feel a little less alone in this. your time will come babe