I technically broke not contact but I'm not counting it because it was more functional. I reached out to my ex and ex friend to see if they would be at our shared friends party.
Something that I now question if I should have done was i invited my ex friend to see Ani Difranco with me with the agreement that we are just there to enjoy the show together. My reasoning is a mutual friend invited us both on a camping trip for their birthday and I felt like seeing each other in a positive context before could be helpful.
They responded when I asked about the friends birthday coming up that they wouldn't be able to make it, but not to the second text. It brings me a little anxiety and makes me feel mixed about weather i feel comfortable going on the camping trip. Part of me wants to out of spite in order to claim space. The real question is though, could I have fun or would I just be activated?
Additional context is that the friend who's birthday it is I feel solidarity with because they have also felt snubbed by the same friends, including my ex, who hurt me and they are not inviting that core 3 to the camping trip which does make me want to go.
Last updated on:2026-07-02T13:28:49+05:30
Comments (10)
i'd probably skip anything i knew would leave me activated for days. claiming your space feels good for an hour, but having a genuinely good weekend felt way better once i stopped trying to prove i belonged.
yeah. I will definitely think about this more. I think i am leaning towards not going
i tried to do the "let's keep it friendly" thing with an ex friend too, and the silence after i reached out messed with me more than i expected. i'd ask myself one question, if nobody else from that group was there, would i still WANT to go?
i'm wondering if the anxiety is more about seeing your ex friend after they ignored that second text, or about the chance your ex might somehow end up there too? those feel like two really different fears to me.
I am certain my ex won't be there. that's part of why I maybe do want to go
no contact depends on the people involved. in some cases, like mine, it can mean no communication of any form, and that is the environment that is helping me heal the best. I have noticed actual progress since it has started. do I enjoy being no contact, no, but it's what is best for me right now. but for some people no contact may include just not talking out side of a mutual friend group. what constitutes breaking nc for one pair may not constitute it for another
yeah, absolutely
the no contact kind of applies to how you see it. I have an ex who will not leave me at peace. not for anything substantial. if it is about shared business and kids I have concluded not a break. if it is about stupid stuff like hey I miss you (not on my end) and you reply it’s a break. kind of know what will affect you. some of us are in business and co parent so the no contact has to be tweaked. it really depends on how you see it. I’m on day 1 again but because I faultered. but when they contact me about business and I just send a thumbs up or down I don’t count it. I for instance send them money that’s not mine and I don’t count that. sorry for long answer…
oof. I really feel for you. that really makes no contact harder. good on you for figuring out your boundaries. I hope you have good support to lean on cause that sounds so fucking hard
@manicfaedreamgoblin it is and I had to blocked them as they kept not respecting boundaries. now for business I just unblock them send needed docs and re block.