We dated for three months. He pursued me strongly travelled long distances multiple times just to see me and seemed genuinely interested in the beginning.
Later he went back to his ex and told me he never had real feelings for me that I was just a distraction and it was mostly physical for him. We never slept together but we did share emotionally intimate video calls so it still felt real to me.
He now says he couldn’t see a future with me because of my “character” and because I needed emotional reassurance which he said felt like pressure. But he also admitted he never told me this during the relationship. His ex says he is emotionally present with her and he has gone back to her even after she cheated on him multiple times.
When I asked him why he gave her repeated chances but not me he said she changed and proved herself and that I should have “cherished” him more. That left me confused because he also said he lost feelings and couldn’t emotionally connect with me from the start.
He often compared us said she understands him better and that she stayed loyal and waited for him. With me he said I was emotionally difficult and that’s why he pulled away.
Now I keep wondering if I did something wrong or if I just wasn’t enough for him. It’s my first relationship and he was my first kiss. I feel stuck between missing what I thought we had and questioning everything I experienced.
Last updated on:2026-07-01T03:20:12+05:30
Comments (7)
Not everyone who pursues you, actually wants to be with you. Sometimes, they just want sex. Sometimes, they just want temporary companionship with no commitment. Some will even LIE to achieve these things.
You were a side piece. You are side piece. Get out of this while the getting is good. He will spin a yarn to get into your pants but returns to his "ex." It boggles my mind how people get into these things expecting anything else but disaster.
girl!!! your first paragraph is totally me!! we also were for 3 months, he also pursed me strongly and suggested to travel long distances jsut to meet me. and yes we also did intimate video calls emotional and I thoguht this was real. and he also followshis ed on insta and doesn't unfollow. idk bro guys are crazy. I thoguht travelling long distance means something serious, but hearing you I feel it's not. maybe they just have a lot of money to afford such travel
see you don't need to explain or write anything after you wrote "and told me he never had real feelings for me that I was just a distraction and it was mostly physical for him". THE TOPIC ENDS HERE GIRL. That, is your answer. you weren't wrong for anything. he's just blaming you. but if he already said he didn't have feeligns snytiem, why did he even pursue? for physical stuff? is it fair to you? and I totaly understand you...when you said, "he couldn't see a future with me because of my "character" and because I needed emotional reassurance which he said felt like pressure." I also need a lot of reasurance which he never gives me. but it's not he's emotionally unavailable in general, he as available to an Arab girl emotionally, so he just restricted himself from me.
It doesn't sound like you "messed up" a great relationship. From what you've described, he started dating you only two months after a breakup, talked about his ex throughout your relationship, stayed in contact with her, then ultimately chose to reconcile with her.
Blocking him and never looking back is the answer. He doesn’t deserve you. He is obsessed with a woman who cheats on him. That’s sad. That’s unhealthy. Don’t be in the middle of their messed up dynamics. Focus on meeting new people.
I wouldn't worry about him at all. He doesn't sound like the kind of guy that deserves your energy. He may be the first, but he certainly won't be the last. Comparing you to someone else and telling you about it is awful.