Hello, My girlfriend of 3,5 years broke up with me 10 days ago. It was not easy to go through all of the emotions, but I think I started noticing them, labeling them and told myself they are okay and from there they it so so much better. 2 days ago, I met with my dear friend who was on Erazmus for past semester. We walked all day in the nature and talked, talked a lot. About hardships of a break-up, his Erazmus experience, my hope for future and so on. For the first time in 2 months I finally said out loud that I was also thinking about breaking-up (but decided against it as I am an optimist and wanted to work on things) and that what I miss is how she made me feel in the past (before the last two months) and future we were suppossed to share. I am also suppossed go on Erazmus and talk with him made me exited to go there (I actually arrive earlker because of our conversation, I think it will make thinks better).
After that conversation, something in me switched, When I am feeling anxious, sad or grief, I know why and I know that being with that person would not change it and I felt more or less the same for the past month or two of our relationship. Mornings are the hardest but last two mornings were quite okay and I am looking forward to Erazmus and in the meantime I want to live my day to day life to the fullest.
It is very strange and I am weirded out, I am still sad and so on, but I feel like I found new hope in life and as I understand better what I am sad about, it is easier to accept it and move on.
Right now, I am looking at Erazmus as an experience to change me, opportunity to grow (maybe find there something new, maybe not, either way is alright) and to heal. And I want to be ready when next great person comes to allow her in my life, so I try to get better and better. It is weird, I am very positive for past two days and I am looking forward to something. And when I have thought about my ex-girlfriend, I accept it and sometimes even smile.
Is it normal? I thought it would me much harder for some time (and I also understand that harder times will come eventually, but even so)
Last updated on:2026-07-17T11:29:00+05:30
Comments (8)
thank you for posting this i am having a hard time moving on but im going to try this and see if it helps im so stuck on the past and how he treated me I forgot why I broke up with him in the first place I miss him sooo much but he is with someone and I have to accept that and move on I need to remember why I left
i think it’s beautiful that you’re finally separating the person you miss from the feelings and future you had attached to them.
ohh that sounds cool.
that conversation with your friend helped you see the relationship more clearly, or did it mostly remind you who you are outside of it?
I think both things are in play there. I am still sad, it is just better
this actually hit me because i remember feeling guilty when i started having good days after my breakup. i thought missing her and feeling hopeful couldn't exist together, but she really can
what is Erazmus?
A student exchange program. I will study abroad for half a year