Having grown up with neglect I manage BPD which can make relationships tricky. In April I began dating a coworker. Our dynamic felt like a real relationship but during a recent three-day birthday trip to Las Vegas my need for constant reassurance and personal space issues overwhelmed her. She felt anxious that I would spiral without her full attention. On Monday she decided to call it off.
Instead of spiraling long-term I feel surprisingly peaceful. After the initial urge to self-sabotage passed we texted gained closure and parted on good terms after realizing we aren't compatible. There is no lingering bitterness and I am comfortable continuing to work near her.
This breakup made me realize my habit of seeking external validation instead of self-love. The support I’ve received from loved ones lately is showing me that I am worthy of love on my own and I want to shift my focus to healing myself rather than jumping into another relationship. I’m just trying to make sense of why I feel so strangely okay with all of this
Last updated on:2026-09-25T20:46:11+05:30
Comments (4)
peace can feel strange when i’m used to needing someone else’s reassurance to feel secure. i started letting the people who love me remind me of my worth while i learned to give some of that love to myself too.
’ve had a breakup where i expected myself to completely fall apart, and instead i felt this weird calm once the chasing and uncertainty were gone. it confused me too, like i was waiting for the pain to show up because surely i couldn’t be okay already.
omg
you finally feel like you don’t have to prove anything to her anymore, and you can just be yourself without waiting for reassurance?