Title: I still want him, but he walked away.

I didn’t mean for this to happen.
We weren’t friends. We didn’t talk like that. We weren’t close. We just existed in the same space, and somehow, I fell anyway.
At first, it was small things. Looks that lingered too long. The way his friends suddenly seemed aware of me, even when I wasn’t doing anything. Moments that made my chest feel tight because I couldn’t tell if I was imagining them or not. I kept telling myself I was reading too much into it, because nothing was actually happening.
But my feelings kept growing.
I eventually confessed. I told him I liked him, before I really understood everything. He said it made him happy that I liked him. That confused me. When I asked how he felt about me, he said he couldn’t answer because he didn’t want to disturb anything. When I realized what he meant, I apologized immediately and told him I didn’t know. He said okay, and that was it. Quiet. Unfinished.
After that, things still didn’t feel over.
There were moments that stayed with me. One day, I walked out of class angry, and the people he was talking to suddenly went completely silent when they saw me. Another time, after school, I was sitting with a friend — just a friend — and one of his friends saw me and stared for a long time before looking away. I stayed calm. I didn’t change how I acted. I didn’t chase. I just existed, even though everything inside me was loud.
Later, we ended up in the same group for something. I didn’t act differently. Then one day, I switched groups to go dance, and suddenly he came to that side too, just to watch. Small things like that kept happening, and each one made everything feel heavier and more confusing.
He’s turning 18 this year, and there were moments where he seemed unsure of himself in ways I didn’t expect. One time, he asked me what I even saw in him. I told him the truth — his personality. He went quiet and said no one had ever said that to him before. I told him he deserved to hear it. That moment stayed with me, because it felt like he was carrying things he didn’t know how to say out loud.
Eventually, he admitted it. He said he liked me. He didn’t have a girlfriend then — he just had pride. He didn’t want to admit it at first, but he did like me.
There was hope.
One day, I asked if they had been talking about me.
He said, “Maybe.”
Later, he said “marry me,” not fully serious but not fully joking either. Then he told me that maybe in two years, I’d be saying yes again to the same question. I let myself believe it. I let myself imagine a future I hadn’t planned on imagining.
And then he walked away.
He said he didn’t think we should continue. He said I was a lovely person and that I deserve someone who would treat me better. He apologized for wasting my time.
I cried.
Now I’m stuck with all these feelings and nowhere to put them. I still want him. I still think about him. Part of me believes what we had was real, and part of me knows that if it was meant to work, maybe it wouldn’t have hurt like this.
So I’m asking honestly:
Should I go back if he comes back?
Or should I let him go, even though I still want him?
How do you walk away from something that never really started but still broke your heart?

Last updated on:2026-01-12T00:54:57+05:30