Why do i miss him so much at night?

I think I miss him the most at night. When everything around me is still and quiet I remember him. I’m laying in bed with this ínstense feeling of dread and sadness. I keep trying to tell myself “be patient, if it’s meant to be it will work out regardless of circumstances” but I catch myself crying. All day I try to avoid thinking about him and talking about him. My mom said to me once “you’re getting better at forgetting him” but reality is that I’m not. I miss him all the time actually. I miss him during the day and I night. I miss him a little bit sometimes but other times I feel like I’m suffocating when I think of him. Despite it all I always miss him in a way I can’t even begin to explain. It’s an isolating dull pain that never really goes away. This time, like every other time things went south after a good run. I want to reach out and say something so bad but that wouldn’t change anything. He’s shown me time and time again that he doesn’t want me in his life despite him saying otherwise. I’m stuck between trying to accommodate to him vs. just saying “fuck this” and letting go. I’m not gonna talk to him but I do miss him at night. I can’t help but wonder if he feels the same. All I wanted was for him to prove that he actively wanted me in his life. I just wanted him to try and I started to lash out from frustration, resentment, and anxiety because he wasn’t meeting promises and doing other things. I understand I can’t around him because he brings up all this unresolved anger while I brng out unresolved guilt in him. My hope is things work out for us and he has mentioned he hopes for the same. I just get so impatient because I feel like nothing is changing so I went off on him and he got upset. We haven’t been together for some time but I felt like a burden to him to I decided to just leave. I just miss him and I’m posting here to avoid talking to him. I’m just really emotional.

Last updated on:2026-03-17T17:20:05+05:30