So I'm a bit out now from my relationship and while I've come to terms with us being done and have 0 plans to contact anywhere in the future. I still struggle with self blaming for the entire failing of the relationship.
People have told me the buzzword answers of "It takes 2", "If it was all on your shoulders it would've failed eventually", "Can't fix issues you don't know about" and etc.
However I still take whole thing as my fault and self blame. Anybody who's been through the breakup rodeo before does this shity feeling ever eventually end? I'm sick of constantly bothering people with this.
Last updated on:2026-03-30T02:56:57+05:30
Comments (7)
That's so sad
Right now your brain will only let you see the good in the relationship you have to force your mind to think of the bad parts of the relationship. thats when you will stop blaming yourself the faster you knock this person off the pedestal the faster you will heal from this.This is what I had to do
and yes the self blaming will stop if you stop and just reflectđđ took some time for me too
yes same i felt this way at first. but I started thinking about the times they did me dirty and how easily I forgave them. It made me realize I deserve better. dont blame yourself for things only time couldve taught you and just try to forgive yourself first. and honestly if the other person really wants you, they wouldnt leave. plus even if you didnt do what you did back than, something else wouldve have triggered them in the future and theyll still leave you. this is just what i thought to myself all the time because i myself would never leave a person i really want even if they disappoint me multiple times.
whatâs the one thing you keep going back to and blaming yourself for the most?
hmm it eased up when i stopped arguing with the thought and just caught it, like âokay iâm blaming myself again,â and let it pass instead of feeding it. sounds small but it slowly lost its grip on me.
i replayed EVERY convo like it was all on me, like if i just did one thing different it wouldnât have ended. it took me a while to see i was carrying way more than my share.