How to break the cycle of reaching out after a breakup

Relapsed yesterday and today. Most of the time, he doesn’t answer me, and when he does, he’s really mad. Yet I can’t stop texting him every few days. Can’t block him, so how do I stop myself from reaching out?

Last updated on:2026-03-31T02:55:40+05:30

Comments (13)

WearyPulse
WearyPulse 6 days ago

what usually hits right before you text him, is it loneliness, missing him, or just that habit of reaching for him?

ForgetHim22
ForgetHim22 5 days ago

Honestly, it’s probably habit and wanting his attention. Like I don’t feel like I miss him per se (we work together). I feel like it’s just checking in to see if he still hates me (which he obviously does cause I won’t leave him alone lol)

PetlovDD
PetlovDD 6 days ago

i used to keep texting my ex even when he’d ignore me or snap at me, like i KNEW it would hurt but i still did it… it felt like i had no control over my own hands

ForgetHim22
ForgetHim22 5 days ago

Right? Like I know the reaction won’t be good, but there is something in you that makes you upset if you haven’t recently texted them. good or bad

letitgo_user

I was or still am i don't know in a relationship with him for the past 10 years I know him for the past 15 years now since last 5 years he has been ignoring me blocking unblocking me giving me bare minimum to stay and provoking me to leave each time he says he has left me years back i don't even have the clarity when I always thought he will think about me someday maybe it's just another fight it will be ok Tommorow but nothing changed years passed he says his family wants someone who's a housewife but I had been a university topper even when we first met I m a doctor by profession he helped me then I don't know is it's really a family thing or it's just because now he isn't interested in me
even a month ago he said he can't see anybody else as I have been the only one in his life ever since but yet I m blocked been blocked unlocked countless times no efforts care concern from his side I don't know what makes you stop going back to them but I know someday you just feel numb no urge no expectations nothing maybe that's the only way out to wait for that day when you are torn enuff

ForgetHim22
ForgetHim22 1 wk ago

I’ve heard you sometimes just wake up one day and don’t care anymore. REALLY hoping that day comes soon! thank you!

FrostTap771
FrostTap771 1 wk ago

I relapsed hard by calling him 20 times a day, left voicemails, tried convincing him to go to couples therapy for a chance at reconciliation, and I coded a game for him in an attempt to woo him. Now I’m blocked, feel crazy, feel stupid, and feel like I’ve hit rock bottom. But the good thing about hitting rock bottom is that there is no where else to go but up. Now if I get the urge to contact him, I call a friend, call the Warm line which just has people who are there to talk to you, or go for a walk/any activity WITHOUT my phone. And the funny part is right now, I still feel that he will come back into my life, and that we are meant to be. However if I truly feel that way, I must let it go. If we are meant to be, he will come back, but I can’t force it because that will be fake and I will lose my dignity if I keep that up. I will not stop hanging out with some mutual friends because they were mine too, and I said that I would convert to his religion if he took me back, but guess what? I’m still going to explore that myself, but for myself and not for him. If I can do this, you can too.

FrostTap771
FrostTap771 1 wk ago

And this is not said to fuel a delusion that you might have that he might come back. I was delusional, but now I am not. At the time, we weren’t compatible and we might need time to grow and change. We might change and might be able to try again, but I can’t stay waiting around for that and neither can you. We must focus on healing and if they come back, they come back. But who knows! Maybe after a while of no contact, you will start to get over him and may not even want to get back together again. Maybe by the time he comes back (for the both of us) we might not even want them back. But we won’t know that unless we leave our exes be.

ForgetHim22
ForgetHim22 1 wk ago

@FrostTap771 I definitely feel like I’m still in a state of delusion. Like if I truly realized he hates to hear from me, wouldn’t I just stop? I’m hoping I can stay no contact for awhile, hoping that will help! thank you!

SmileEvery595

his anger comes from the fact that you are breaking his boundary when you contact him!! you deserve better than someone who feels angry to hear from you.

ForgetHim22
ForgetHim22 1 wk ago

You’re so right. I’m sure I’d be upset about that too. And I do deserve better, thank you!

Bambi
Bambi 1 wk ago

As soon as you're about to text, drop your phone and go drink a glass of water. You, like me, are probs in withdrawal from the texting attention. You, like me, have to break the cycle. You and me, we can do this! XO

ForgetHim22
ForgetHim22 1 wk ago

I like this idea. Stopping myself in my tracks is what I need to do. We got this!