When I'm with her, I have to adjust my tone, reactions, or identity just to keep the relationship stable. Am I the problem?
Honestly, this dynamic drains me because I feel forced to perform and I cannot be real around her. When she calls me, it does not sound like a couple talking through the phone, it sound like the employer is talking to her employee.
Last updated on:2026-04-11T08:25:06+05:30
Comments (8)
yeah thats unhealthy. If you being yourself is a source of pain for her, then she doesnt love the real you but is using you as an instrument where you have to play the role that makes her feel good. you will inevitably repress and abandon yourself, which will require lots of healing once this is all over. try to be yourself in non aggressive ways. if she cant respect that...then yes this isnt a match
are you doing no contact?
yes I have been spending some alone time for a while
There's always something for her to be upset with, I'm trying my best to not be the problem, I end up being too self-conscious instead
This is NOT a relationship. You need to walk away from this one. Find a partner who you can be YOU around. True love is never like what you're describing. Go NC and live your life being YOU.
It's just hard for me to find someone who is on my level
what would happen if you were your authentic self?
It's my fault for not noticing earlier because I hoped that it would change. She gets upset with everything, I feel suffocated. When I bring up the topic, she says I'm hurting her