It was so great, so mature, so close, with never a single cross word between us. Not once. her dad even said “where was he 20 years ago (before either of us met and started our own bad marriages that emded in divorce). Then my dad died, and hers 13 days later. She went radio silence for two weeks, then called me to say that she couldn’t give me what o needed. she had that thought even before our dads died. but it wasn’t a discussion, it was her just saying it and not asking what I did need or want or could accommodate. she wanted alone time and to be tired and to focus on her career. what a shock. I’m angry, sad, and now so heartbroken that she didn’t show up for me after my dad died, and blocked me from “being there” for her dad. so, NC now for four days. in my filter, it’s what she wanted, she never loved me, bc who ever has?? she’ll be fine without me and is probably relived af that I’m not in her life so she can do whatever. suck so bad. I’m heartbroken over my dad’s death and then her pushing me away.
Last updated on:2026-05-05T06:03:47+05:30
Comments (7)
you feel more hurt by losing her, or by how she handled things when you were at your lowest
she don’t show up for me and didn’t let me show up for her
i lost someone close and my partner pulled away at the same time, like i was grieving two people at once. that silence when you need them most, it stays with you.
hurts so fucking bad
I’m so sorry for your losses. Grief makes people act in ways they never have before.
Your focus right now should be to address your own grief of losing your dad. She would be needing to do that too. Then once you’re ready for a relationship, you can ask her if she’s up for a conversation.
I would have imagined that what I was going through wihh th my dad dying, and needing to connect, would be what she’d want also. why not?!
I should add that I thought maybe she was so consumed by grief over her dad’s death that someday she’ll feel that less and remember me. the curiosity is that she wrote me a lovely letter after my dad died saying so many nice things, about support and celebrating him, but poof, it was gone when hers died, and she didn’t let me in.