It’s been days since I stopped talking to her… since April 24.
And I didn’t know it would feel like this.
Every morning feels heavy.
I wake up and the first thing I feel is the absence of her.
It’s like my heart remembers before my mind even has a chance to catch up.
Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I can’t.
Sometimes I just sit there, staring, trying to understand how someone who was once my whole world…
is now someone I can’t even reach.
There are moments I feel okay.
Like maybe I’m finally getting stronger.
But then out of nowhere, it hits again.
The loneliness.
The memories.
The urge to check her, to see if she’s okay… or if she’s already happy without me.
And that part hurts the most.
Because I’m here… still breaking, still trying to heal,
while my mind keeps asking questions I know I shouldn’t be asking.
I won’t lie—there are moments I feel weak.
Like I’m losing the strength to keep going.
Like I just want to see her one last time, just to ease this pain.
But I don’t.
Because deep down, I know…
seeing her again won’t heal me.
It will only open everything I’m trying so hard to close.
I still love her.
That’s the hardest truth I have to carry every day.
But I’m also learning that love alone isn’t enough to stay.
So this is me…
not okay, still hurting, still grieving everything we had,
but choosing—every single day—not to go back.
I don’t know when this pain will fully go away.
I don’t know when I’ll wake up and finally feel light again.
But I’m here.
Still standing.
Still trying.
And maybe… for now… that’s enough.
Last updated on:2026-05-05T15:24:04+05:30
Comments (4)
when it hits you like that out of nowhere, is it more the memories or the thought of her moving on that hurts the most?
this hit me. It puts exactly how I’m feeling into words I am unable to do. the waking up to the physical pain before my mind is even awake is the most frustrating part. I’m really trying to fill my time and re-discover who I am
and I cry, that's how my mornings became, hard but the need to accept and let go is what we need.
those mornings where your chest feels heavy before you even open your eyes. i used to wake up and reach for my phone like they were still mine… that silence hits HARD.