I think i am messed up and don't know what to do.
I had this friend who became super close in a year. We used to talk hours each day and night and bit of physical touch which (which she later labeled as brother touch) i felt a connection and then her ex entered and i felt she was drifting apart and anxiety raised within me and i couldn't bare it and one fine day i confessed my feelings without clearly defining what exactly those feelings are. Is it love or attachement? Cause from the start i know she was not the right person i just got kinda attached to her due to daily calls and she saying i am importantperson in her life and introducing me to her parents and friends like a imp person in her life.
We went into no contact aftet my confession and i couldn't bear it and went back to her within 3 weeks explaining things clearly how anxious i was in the relationship and that anxious attachment caused this rift and begged to get back and be friends and now she is ignoring and i feel like shit i keep calling her begging her even though i feel disrespected. I keep waiting for texts.
Did something like this ever happend with anyone ? How did you navigate in this situation?
Last updated on:2026-05-21T23:58:12+05:30
Comments (6)
someone becomes your whole routine and suddenly their distance feels physically painful. i kept telling myself it was “just attachment” too, meanwhile i was checking my phone every five minutes and losing my mind over delayed replies.
the begging and repeated calls usually made me feel worse afterward, not better
I understand what you feel , been there. First off , never be sorry for expressing how you feel to someone, even tho you mentioned you don't really know how you felt back then. It is indeed anxious attachment, but before you overblame yourself, get some things in your head, you can't control how others feel , the only feelings you can control are yours. But don't let your mind and feelings control you.
If you said you knew she wasn't the right person , you should have trusted your instincts. You matter. So respect yourself , either you liked her, or you liked the attention you were getting from here because , when we experience things that we never did , and I'm saying this from. experience we tend to attach ourselves to that person. But maybe this wasn't healthy for you , it is good that you expressed yourself.You mentioned she said you are important to her, but you expressed how you feel and she started pulling away, so maybe for her it was nothing serious. I'm really sorry for that man , it sucks , I know.
But you have to keep going, you are still yourself ,with her , or not.
Me, personally, when I was in a situation like you were , I couldn't pull away , I noticed that person getting distant , and I wanted more , constantly waiting for an answer , even when I confessed how I feel and she pulled away more , and took me a while but I realized that it wasn't healthy for me to be stuck in something like this , I wanted something real. Me personally, I pulled away from that person. In my opinion it's just good for your mental health to consume yourself over a situation like I was , but that's just my experience.
What I would like to recommend you do , is focus on yourself, the best thing you can do. Time and silence is what truly gives your mind peace and space to think.
when you picture her now, do you miss HER specifically or do you miss how wanted and important she made you feel every day?
To be frank i miss how she made me feel and somepart of me feels guilty that did i mess up but honestly i know from the start that someday this all was gonna end and she will walk away once her ex and friends return. I feared my gut instinct as frim the start it was hinting me and I tried hard to not let it in that way but atlast the thing thag i feared the most happend. Now she is like i was the issue. i am the problem.
also i agree that i was also the issue. I let my insecurities take over and might have made it exhaustive.