my ex showed up unannounced and while I was sleeping and asked me to unblock them.
nothing on their end has changed besides being nice for once and saying “I was worried and away and you blocked me”
I didn’t unblock. again they said I don’t want to be with you right now.
then they took some shoes and left.
should I change the locks?
they didn’t scare me this time but they are also not coming back and to wait around with hope for an unforseeable future is just going to ruin me.
Last updated on:2026-06-29T12:05:09+05:30
Comments (13)
i’ve been there with someone who kept popping back in when it suited them. i kept thinking “they’re calmer now so maybe it’s different” but it never stayed different. i ended up changing my locks, not out of fear in the moment, but to stop the loop in my head.
yes you’re right somewhat the same nothing is changing on their end
this one hit a bit cold in the chest. showing up while you’re asleep and acting like access to you is something they can just ask for again is a lot.
yes that’s exactly what they do their rules and then say they can’t live with my rules since I’m setting boundaries but of course they don’t want to be with me but they love me and we’re concerned about me.
i really hope you’ve got someone you can loop in on this in real life too, not just sitting with it alone. are you thinking they might come back again, or was this more like a final check-in from them?
I don’t think it’s a finally thing no absolutely not. they are still blocked on my end. and they always want things their way.
change the locks. dont know where you are from or how long they moved out. but most states, if they stayed their 4 CONSECUTIVE nights at that residence, they can claim residency and then you have to give 30 days to get their belongings. after 30 days their stuff is considered abandoned and its yours now. I would change those locks ASAP. have documentation of you being accomidating for acceptable times for him to gather his things. I woukd document everything from here on out. pop ups are red flags and you can never be too careful these days.
you’re right. seems stupid but I didn’t even have funds for the lock change. I asked a friend but they couldn’t help. that was my main issue with it.
@poundcaker been there. I too need to change my locks and no money. but my ex is 3000 miles away so not too worried even though he jas a key. told him to throw ot away. I know most locks ate only like 30.00 but I was in a LDR and so I spent amd financed a lot of travel. paying it all down.
I’m sure their is some law there if he doesn’t give you the key back
I’m sure there is but no one is going to re enforce it. I live in Greece.
can't you just ask for the key back?
they’re not giving it back. stating they have stuff here. they just said no.