Hello everyone. I broke up with my gf around 4.5 months ago, we stayed in touch initially but she cut off all contact 60 days ago, mainly because she found someone new to date. It sucked knowing that she was able to move on so quickly. I found out through friends that she also posted her new partner all over social media etc. She did have me blocked everywhere but there were ways for me to reach out. I didn't. Some days were really hard, I even typed out a 'hi' and almost hit send. But then I didn't, i talked to a friend instead. What helped me resist was thinking of the disrespect the last time she spoke to me. Thinking of her with her new girlfriend, happy and moved on. And I knew I would regret texting her. And so I didn't. I curled up in a ball and cried and listened to sad songs instead. Let the pain wash over you. Feel all of it. It'll hurt like hell but trust me, it won't kill you. And it will get better. I don't think of her most days, i stay occupied. It's different for everyone but what helped me was making new connections. Ofcourse nothing serious, but I went on a lot of dates, and made a lot of new friends. This might not work for everyone, but it did for me. Human connection, that's what helped.
Some days, it does hit you out of nowhere. I read a line on social media - "This is the last month of the last year you have loved me in". It was sad, the thought of the new year approaching, and our relationship being a thing of the 'past'. But it was also a good feeling, starting fresh, so much to look forward to.
After 4.5 months of the breakup, am I over her completely? maybe not, but I am close. I am able to look at pics of her with her new gf without it triggering anything in me. I don't care most days. But a few days ago, I got drunk and looked at our old pictures and cried. And that's okay.
More than anything, find ways to romanticize the pain. Because heartbreak is beautiful in its own way. This was my first heartbreak. You read about the pain of loving in classic literature, books written centuries ago, in movies made decades ago. I was finally able to relate to this universal feeling. Heartbreak made me feel closer to humankind, made me feel like I belonged. I listen to songs in a new light too. I feel like loving someone and losing someone has unlocked so many new feelings and experiences, and for that I am grateful.
Finally, don't let the pain of heartbreak stop you from loving again. I know it will take me some time, but I am looking forward to loving someone again. It might not end well, i might get my heart broken again, but such is life. Loving someone will always be worth the pain.
Last updated on:2025-12-16T22:16:33+05:30
Comments (4)
when you think about her now, do you mostly feel gratitude for what you had, or does it still sting? curious how you’re processing both sides of it.
i don't regret the relationship at all. she wasn't a bad person, things just didn't work out between us. I feel gratitude for the relationship. But at the same time, she behaved very shitty towards me after the break-up, and then there's also the fact that she moved on super quickly. So I do have a little negative feelings towards her, but not the relationship that we had. It used to sting a lot, with time I find myself caring less and less. All you need is time.
listening to sad songs, journaling, and staying connected with friends made the pain more bearable. it doesn’t vanish overnight, but it gets lighter.
my ex moved on crazy fast too, and i kept replaying our last fights. i cried, yelled, even almost texted. it sucked but slowly i started finding joy in small things again