Why a wire transfer doesn't make him a dad

​Checked my bank account yesterday and saw a wire transfer from him. He sent money on March 1st, which is the first time since December 29th. No text, no email, no "how is she doing?"
​It’s just heavy. Our daughter is 8 months old now. He hasn't seen her since she was 5 months. In those 3 months, she’s become a completely different baby. She’s crawling everywhere, babbling, and is just a little ball of energy.
​It’s wild to me that he can remember his banking login but doesn't even bother to check if his own daughter is okay. A wire transfer doesn't make you a father.
​Keeping my head up and staying NC, but the silence says everything I need to know.

Last updated on:2026-03-19T09:17:07+05:30

Comments (6)

cracklob
cracklob a mth ago

hen he sends the money like that with no message, does it reopen the wound for you or does it just confirm what you already know about him?

NovaDash241
NovaDash241 4 wks ago

Honestly, it just confirms what I already knew. It’s funny how the money only shows up when he loses access to me because I know damn well he would have never sent money if I hadn't went NC.

Coldblood
Coldblood a mth ago

that line about remembering the bank login but not asking about his daughter… yeah that hit me. my dad was the same growing up, money showed up sometimes but he never showed up himself. it leaves a weird ache.

NovaDash241
NovaDash241 4 wks ago

Exactly. It shows where the priorities actually are. Sorry you had to deal with that growing up too.

letitgo_user
letitgo_user a mth ago

I can feel how much this is weighing on you, and my heart truly goes out to you. There is a specific kind of heaviness in seeing a bank notification where a 'How is she?' or 'I miss her' should be. It’s okay to feel that sting; you aren't just mourning the relationship, you're mourning the father you thought your daughter would have.
​Please know that you and your little girl are so worthy of love and presence. It sounds like she is absolutely thriving under your care—crawling and babbling are such huge, beautiful milestones! It’s bittersweet to witness that joy alone when you expected a partner to be there for it, but you are doing the hard work of being her whole world right now.
​I haven’t walked in your shoes as a single parent, but watching my sister go through it has shown me just how much strength it requires. You are doing a great job. My friend who is a single mom found a lot of peace and shared strength in a local moms' group; if you ever feel up to it, that kind of community might be a nice reminder that you aren’t alone in this.
​We are all here for you, and we’d love to hear more about your little bundle of energy whenever you feel like sharing. Sending you so much love and light.

NovaDash241
NovaDash241 4 wks ago

I really appreciate these words🤍🤍 It’s definitely a heavy process mourning what you thought things would be, but my daughter is my main focus right now. I was on Peanut before going NC, I might go back on and connect with other single moms. Thank you again❤️