it’s been 8 months since i left my ex after he cheated on me both physically and emotionally. we were together for 5 years he was my first love and we were just months away from getting engaged. the breakup was brutal i went through every stage of grief and it honestly felt like hell. there were even moments i almost went back trying to downplay what he did just because i missed him and wanted things to go back to how they were.
now 8 months later i’ve done a lot of healing. therapy journaling working on myself. i’ve made peace with what happened and i know i didn’t deserve that kind of treatment. the feelings didn’t fade the way i expected though i never really ended up hating him.
i’m in a new relationship now with someone i truly love. he’s kind patient and treats me so well. i’m genuinely happy and so grateful for him i haven’t felt this way in a long time.
but i still get these moments where i feel sad about my ex. not because i want him back but because i wish things had turned out differently. like i wish he hadn’t cheated and we could’ve had the life we planned. it’s confusing because i love my current partner and i’m happy where i am but there’s still this small part of me that holds onto what could’ve been.
it almost feels like i’m grieving a life that never got to happen. and sometimes i wonder if it’s normal to still feel this way even when you’ve moved on and found something better. i know i’m not a bad person i truly love my partner now but i can’t help feeling like a small piece of me will always care about my ex even if we’re completely out of each other’s lives now.
the feeling has been fading over time but i just want to know if anyone else has felt this too because it’s such a strange mix of being happy and still a little sad at the same time.
Last updated on:2026-04-10T22:41:02+05:30
Comments (4)
i was with my ex and even after i found someone better, i still grieved the version of him who never hurt me… like that future just disappeared overnight. it doesn’t mean i wanted him back, it just meant i loved deeply and that part doesn’t switch off
i had to stop judging those waves when they came. i’d just let myself feel sad for what could’ve been, then come back to what i have now, and over time it got quieter. you can love your present and still mourn your past a little, both can exist.
I would say that this is probably a normal thing. I think the term would be “wistful”. You don’t necessarily want the old situation back, but it still occurs to you that it was something you held dear to you, and that’s okay. Also, as time fades, the feelings should fade. I will say one thing, though—if you have ANY doubts about your thoughts (such as SERIOUSLY wanting to be with your old bf) don’t lead your second guy on.
Of course you aren’t over the trauma in eight months! This kind of betrayal changes a person.