he was the first person to wish me happy birthday so I didn't forget about that and send him today ,is this bad ?
Last updated on:2026-04-22T16:01:03+05:30
Is it wrong to wish him happy birthday after no contact?
he was the first person to wish me happy birthday so I didn't forget about that and send him today ,is this bad ?
Last updated on:2026-04-22T16:01:03+05:30
Comments (10)
Yes, it's bad. Inventing excuses for breaking No Contact is bad. It shows you haven't changed or improved at all, so he has no reason to start a new relationship with you. You have to improve yourself so that he wonders why you no longer need him and wants to find out more about this new version of you. He is the one that breaks no.contact, not you.
uhhh not really? It’s an important day and saying happy birthday is not going to mess up her progress. just send the message and go on with your day… because she still cares about him there’s no reason not sis on a special day like a birthday
@push Making excuses to break No Contact is the worst thing you can do. The person who dumped you almost never responds the way you want and it causes most people to regress and spiral out. Several people mentioned this already before you even replied. This is one of the basics of NC and birthdays are always the example given because so many people make this mistake.
I think you will know for yourself if it makes you feel stuck or pulls you in again
are you okay with whatever response he gives you, or were you hoping it would reopen something between you two?
I just didn't want to make his efforts worthless I hate making anyone feel like this ,there were great moments and I appreciate them but that won't make me forget how he hurt and how he changed and act like I was the problem, and yeah when I texted him this I felt that i am reopening smth but no I won't text anything else even if he tries to reach out
i get why you did it, birthdays carry weight. but every time i reached out it pulled me right back into hoping for something that wasn’t really there
don't.
I'm going through the same dilemma right now, but her birthday is in a few months. I think I will write to her; I don't want to talk to her because I still have strong feelings of attachment. But I know I'd feel worse about myself if I didn't, so I'll just wish her a happy birthday, and end the conversation as soon as I can. It's a way of appreciating the past connection, but avoiding hurting myself in the process. So, hit and run.
breaking no contact for birthdays felt like the one “safe” excuse. i did the same thing and then spiraled watching their every move again