a few months ago i started talking to this guy i met on a dating app called duet. he was really sweet understanding and honestly very attractive. i told myself i wouldn’t get attached too fast… but yeah i did and now i feel dumb for it
i’m pretty insecure and early on he would reassure me a lot. he talked about driving out to see me even though it was far said it would be worth it. he’s in college so i knew he’d be busy but he still used to make time for me
we even started a minecraft world together got pretty far built a cute house i made it btw. i’d tease him because he kept dying to fall damage like 20 times in one day
but after like a month things changed. he got distant would take hours to reply even if i answered right away. i brought it up he apologized but nothing really changed
we had plans to meet pretty early on like around the two week mark. now it’s been about three months and he still hasn’t made any effort to actually see me. i even offered to visit him at college asked if he was free and every time he said he’d check later… then forgot. i kept having to bring it up myself
the confusing part is he still says he likes me but his actions feel like the opposite. i’m barely getting anything from him now
we followed each other on instagram but i deleted my account a couple weeks ago because i was tired of doomscrolling. i checked it today and saw he unfollowed me and removed me too. when i asked he said it was just because i deleted it… which feels weird to me. like was that really necessary?
i don’t want to lose him. i don’t want to start over with someone new. i really liked him. but lately i feel like i don’t matter to him at all
i’ve been really down these past few months crying over this way more than i want to admit. even thinking about deleting our minecraft world or cutting him off hurts. i feel kind of pathetic like i shouldn’t be this upset over someone i’ve only known a few months but it still hurts a lot
Last updated on:2026-04-20T18:37:53+05:30
Comments (6)
I assume you're young by the mention of college. Starting over? Girl, you are JUST starting and it's going to be exciting! You can't be open to new experiences if you're holding onto him. You're hurting for a reason. To be able to let go. I'm having trouble with that myself. I get it. I'm trying to remind myself of the phrase "if he wanted to he would". It's very hard when you realize that he doesn't want to. Like REALLY hard. You're in love with who you imagine he could be. He doesn't want to be that. Omg...I now feel like I'm trying to convince myself which I probably am...ugh. Sorry! This is about you. Don't disappoint the love of your life. Dont text him ASKING him. Text him TELLING him how you feel. Use AI...seriously. It'll take all the emotions out and give you something clear and concise to send him. Such as "I don't think this is going as well as it was in the beginning and i feel like this is getting very one sided." Then your ultimatum such as "I need to think about things" or "I need to know if youre coming to meet soon or if i should forget about it" Like i said, AI is better. Wait for his reaction. Don't let him deflect. Stay on course. If it's a very short answer or if he doesn't want to plan a meeting then you stop contact for a bit. See if he comes to you. You will have your answer. Sorry if this is all over the place. I'm not having a great day.
do you feel like you’re holding on more to who he was in the beginning than who he’s being with you now?
i’ve been in that exact spot, building little things together and then slowly feeling them pull away while i kept holding on to the version from the beginning
Sending hugs. I'm going through something similar. I'm taking it one day at a time.
Never dismiss your feelings. Even if you're wrong about the reality of things, your feelings will still be valid. But at the same time, you also need to understand that you must take action to avoid feeling bad. You must talk to him and explain what's happening very explicitly; perhaps he has a reason for his behavior, But you need to give it a chance to calm your mind And even when it seems that it's not working, keep telling them that until all hope is exhausted, If you don't want to cut off contact immediately, you must have the courage have new friends who give that emotional support you crave so it can get easier later
And yes, it hurts a lot losing that Minecraft house... I hope it gets better for both of us