Why did he leave me on valentine's day? a heartbroken reflection

for the last two years i was dealing with depression and ocd no job barely able to function. i stayed home cried every day couldn’t even be present in the relationship. he used to come home from work and cook for me. i just… couldn’t do anything. but i’ve healed now.
he left me on valentine’s day 2025. no future no ring nothing. it broke me. i felt like i gave him my best years and ended up alone.
then he came back in the summer and three months later around halloween he left again. this time saying he was confused and needed time to figure himself out.
i told him i couldn’t keep waiting around like that we’re not kids. you don’t come back and then say you don’t know what you want.
after that i blocked him on social media but left imessage open thinking maybe he’d call regret it try harder. he didn’t. not once. he didn’t even check if he was blocked.
four months later he texts saying he was waiting for me to unblock him and that he misses me. i didn’t reply. three weeks after that he sent eid mubarak. i still didn’t answer. i didn’t even know what to say.
two messages after everything he did just doesn’t feel like enough. it feels lazy. like i deserved more than that.
nowi don’t know what it means. does he actually want me back or is it just guilt or a random moment of missing me?
i keep wondering if it was my fault. maybe if i wasn’t sick if there had been more intimacy he wouldn’t have left the first time. that’s why i gave him another chance when i got better.
but then again he left twice. and the second time he still wasn’t sure about me.
some people tell me it’s my fault that i should’ve chased him even after everything. others say i should’ve given him more time instead of blocking him.
but he still had my number. he could’ve called. he didn’t.
so now i’m just stuck asking myself… was it really my fault for being sick and not being able to give him everything back then?