i was a firm “this will never get easier” person. and part of me still is… bear with me. i never thought id make it to 30 days of no contact, but before i knew it, that’s tomorrow. i broke no contact once after the original breakup and he told me he thinks “space is best for now so we can both move forward”. i was SO embarrassed, i felt so confused how he could be so fine without me. but i promised myself i will not be the one to reach out ever again.
and i have kept my promise. a whole month.
did i think he would come back by now? 100%. does it sting that he was firm in his decision and he isn’t in my life anymore? oh my goodness yes, so much.
but it’s been 30 days. so for me it’s not that the missing him went away, the hope for a future where we reconnect and realize we can work things out is still there. the visceral ache for a person who is actively choosing to not talk to me is still there. it’s awful.
BUTTTTT. it’s less loud. it’s less consuming. the days don’t go by at a snails pace. it’s been 30 mf days!!!
i tell myself if i can miss him for 30 days, and still be working, seeing friends, exercising, being a dog mom, seeing family. i think i can make it 30 more. and then in a year, it won’t ache anymore. i will always care about that sweet boy, but im finally letting go of the rope that i was holding onto SO TIGHT it was literally strangling me.
so yes, it does get easier. it doesn’t go away this fast, but it becomes less consuming. you got this.
Last updated on:2026-06-05T07:07:48+05:30
Comments (5)
hey, I really resonate with a lot of the things you mentioned, and your story gives me so much hope and courage to keep going and fully focus on myself and the people around me to prove to myself that I can do it alone.
counting every single day of no contact like it was a year. i was convinced the pain would stay that loud forever, and then one day i realized i had gone a few hours without thinking about him.
this is exactly how it started shifting for me. i stopped measuring progress by whether i missed him and started measuring it by whether i could still live my life while missing him. that's when i knew i was finally moving forward.
if he reached out tomorrow, do you think you'd want the relationship back exactly as it was, or do you feel like these 30 days have already changed what you'd be willing to accept
oooh haha. great question. our relationship didn’t really have problems, it was long distance, it was also his first relationship and it really came down to his capacity for a relationship. so it’s not that i’d need changed behavior or anything, it’s that at this point it’s been so long that it would be very hard for me to not be scared of him randomly one day deciding he can’t do it anymore again. luckily for me, i’m coming to accept he won’t be reaching out hahaha