he would call me every night and we fell asleep together, i would fall asleep to the sounds of his soft snores and breathing almost every night for the past nine months out of the year and three months we were together. he didnt call me for three nights before he sent that message telling me his mom found out and that he had to go, i could barely sleep. one of those nights i had a nightmare about him having to leave cause his mom found out and i woke up hyperventilating and immediately reached to tell him i had a bad dream and he told me he was sorry and comforted me and called me that morning for a bit. that was three days before he blocked me. that was the last time i officially heard his voice. its been a month and three days since august 18th and i still dont know how to sleep properly without him. i just stay awake until i pass out or smoke till im numb and cant keep my eyes open anymore because being stoned makes me tired. my question i guess is how do you feel okay enough to sleep by yourself, especially when your room is so haunted by them even if theyve never officially been in it? i want my baby boy. i miss feeling safe while i slept and not having to be alone anymore. the only plus side to it is that i dont randomly wake up anymore in the middle of the night because im expecting a call, and even then i miss waking up at 2 am to his phone calls because he just finished an assignment and couldnt wait till the morning when i woke up to talk to me. i miss having someone who wants to talk to me, i dont have that anymore.
Last updated on:2026-09-22T13:05:12+05:30
Comments (4)
i really feel the part about missing his voice and those random 2 am calls. when you lie there missing him now, do you miss him most, or the feeling of knowing someone was there whenever you needed them?
i remember losing the little nighttime things after my breakup, the breathing beside me, the goodnight calls, even the silence that used to feel comforting because i knew they were there. sleeping alone felt HUGE at first, especially when my room was full of memories.
you’re not alone, I’m right there with you. have you considered using a hug/body pillow at night? or wearing your favorite shirt or clothes to feel the clothing is giving you a hug. Also throwing out the sheets on your bed and buying a new pair just for you ✨
ive always slept hugging a pillow, even before him and i were together. in time i would somehow connect it to him because we lived so far apart it wasnt really possible for us to have sleepovers and i wanted to feel like he was physically there while we’d have our nightly calls, i mainly use my body pillow to put my leg over and i have a smaller pillow that i rest my head on and sort of hug and its a source of comfort, its still mainly tied to him in my head but thats really the only way i can sleep by myself rn