Why can't i stop thinking my ex could change?

today I met my new psychologist and she is great. but, she made the comment of if only my ex could have worked on the things in therapy and then see if his feelings came.

Like, of course I have thought this? but, I cannot think like this. I have accept that he could not see a future or that his romantic feelings would not come. he liked me, and found me attractive and said I was perfect on paper but ultimately he didn’t have those feelings. he was hoping his body would make them.

I don’t want everyone to psycho analyse him. I am trying to accept his truth. it’s the only way to move on rather than have a sliver of hope he could heal in therapy and come back.

also, my bigger fear is never having a healthy and happy relationship. I deeply want that. I am 34 and starting again, again. that is what I want to work on. somehow get to the acceptance of it might never happen or if could, and being okay either way… but I am not there yet. maybe never will be? the idea of never being chosen and loved and reciprocating is so hard to just accept. I know you’re not meant to, but here I am.