I went on a date tonight. it was nice. he was nice. I can see how beautiful this person is across from me, but my brain kept bringing up my ex. We kissed and I didn’t feel much.
I am angry and sad he still has a hold over me, especially when he was clear he had no romantic feelings and saw no future with me ever. he wishes the feelings would come but they didn’t.
it is frustrating because I was blindsided by this revelation. he didn’t tell me his doubts, only after he had decided he was sure and was showing up as a devoted partner. so, my frustration is how my brain knows he is gone. I know we will never be together but I emotionally haven’t caught up? I keep hoping. if I think of him with someone else it makes me ache but is that the only way? I need to see him move on so I can fully accept it? I want to move on so badly. I don’t want to yearn for him and lose time, when he is already gone and I am in the past.
Last updated on:2026-10-22T12:04:00+05:30
Comments (8)
this is one of biggest fears now the fact this person will always be in my head if i were to start talking to someone, and the biggest one is if, if they came back to me and if, if i am in a some sort of relationship i would drop it so fast and come back. thats why i have been thinking when do you know you have fully healed and “moved on”?
this is scary actually. if he did come back, I would leave right now to join them. I guess this makes me anxious about dating other people if they are not truly over it too?
wanting to force myself to move on, but what helped me was stopping the pressure to feel something for someone new. you can know it's over and still miss him badly, and you don't have to watch him with someone else to make your heart catch up.
do you find yourself holding onto the hope that he'll change his mind, even though you know what he told you, or is it more that you miss the future you thought you were going to have with him?
both. I keep thinking if he heals and post his therapy, he might come back and have the capacity… but I also know this is not real? like I will never know and I can’t live in hope of a hypothetical future. i definitely am grieving the future as well. a lot. I had no idea he was having doubts. it’s been a lot.
you need to give yourself some time its okay to feel numb or lost at first but let the feeling sink and just allow your self to breath alone for a bit first go on dates but be honest that ure not ready
I think maybe you're searching for him in someone else and that really shows the impact he had on you.
i went on dates after my breakup too, and even when the guy was lovely, my mind kept wandering back to my ex. i hated that someone who had already let go still had so much of me