a few years ago when i was around 15 or 16 this guy and his family moved to my state. they’d lived all over and had so many stories and to me someone who barely went anywhere and struggled to make friends they felt so exciting to be around.
him and i clicked fast. he was close to my age fun and always pushed me out of my comfort zone. we started talking every day always stuck together in groups. it never became anything more because he made it clear we were just friends and at the time i thought i felt the same.
life started pulling us in different directions. he focused on school and a future in healthcare and i was just trying to figure myself out and started working early. i switched jobs right when he was about to join mine and looking back i really wish i hadn’t. that felt like the start of us drifting.
we talked less he found new friends and i was kind of alone again. about a year ago he moved back to his home state. after that we barely talked unless i reached out first. the distance made me miss what we had even more and i started wondering if i ever felt more than friendship.
a few months ago his family asked me to bring something to them and offered to cover the trip. i said yes hoping to see him again but i regret it now. he had a whole new life new people new stories. i felt replaced.
there were small moments where i saw the old him but mostly he felt distant almost indifferent. still i can’t stop thinking about him. about us. he was my safe place the one person i could really talk to and losing that made me realize how lonely i’ve been.
i keep getting stuck in “what ifs.” what if i had said something? what if he felt it too? or what if i meant more to him than he ever did to me? or the other way around. what if i never find someone like him again.
we still talk sometimes but it feels forced now. like we’re strangers trying to be polite. part of me still hopes things could go back to how they were even though deep down i know they won’t. maybe one day i’ll move on but right now i’m still holding on to something that’s already gone.
Last updated on:2026-03-31T15:29:09+05:30
Comments (3)
i think it's especially hard on people like us who live such a limited life we get attached easily and we make the person we love our everything we love them so deeply
you think you miss him as he is now, or more who he was to you back then
losing someone who was your safe place without it even being an official relationship hurts in a different way. i kept replaying every moment too, wondering if i missed my chance. it stayed with me for a long time