i can’t get her out of my head and honestly i don’t even know what i’m feeling anymore.
i miss what we had and everything we could’ve been, even though deep down i KNOW it wouldn’t have worked and it’s over for real this time.
it hurts like hell. i just lie there at night, wide awake, thinking about her and hoping she’s thinking about me too.
she was the most beautiful thing in my life, and we lost it… fear, growing apart, things we never fixed. knowing it’s truly over breaks me.
she wants to stay friends, but i can’t do that. i’ll always love her in some way. i’ll always be drawn to her. i’ll always wonder how she’s doing.
i miss her hugs. the way she felt in my arms, her lips, her eyes… we had something real, and somehow it just faded.
part of me tries to tell myself maybe we were together too long, like it’ll make this hurt less. it doesn’t. every moment with her meant something to me.
there’s a part of me that still pictures a future with her. a part that wanted to grow up and see the world together.
she’ll always have a place in my heart. she changed me in ways i can’t ignore.
i miss her. i still want her.
but then i think about how things have been lately… and even if we were still together, it wouldn’t feel right anymore.
and i hate that.
Last updated on:2026-04-13T14:07:03+05:30
Comments (4)
do you feel like you’re grieving her, or the version of the future you thought you’d have together?
i was in that exact place where i KNEW it wouldn’t work but my heart just wouldn’t catch up. i used to lie awake replaying everything too, like maybe i missed something that could’ve saved it
I really feel that. The girl i was with i thought was the person I would grow old with. I knew the particular way she paused and held her breath when she was thinking and had something to say. I knew the things she got stuck on. I have memorized the way her voice gets high when something delights her and the excited shy way she would get about something from her past that she loved and was also embarrassed about. All these beautiful, precious little intimacies that can only be cultivated with time that I cherish.
The spring has been helping. The cherry blossoms have come and gone, the magnolias are going, the daffodils have made way to tulip and soon they will make way for iris's. So may beautiful blossoms that are there for a moment and then lost to time.
Each little intimacy. Every dream that never bloomed every seed that was never planted. I think of them like those flowers. So vibrant, so full of life, when they go i might be sad. Every year I miss the cherry blossoms when they go. Every year I say I will go to the waterfront to see them by the river but I miss them. They are so beautiful and so fleeting. so many small sadnesses. But I appreciate the beauty. I have learned to let them go. I have learned that next spring will be different, but it will be beautiful and will come again.
I try to remember this with love that runs it's course. There is something beautiful about the ephemeral. About the wilting. There is a preciousness to the cherry blossom and a trust that, though it will never be quite the same it will come again.
I felt every word you said dude..
It’s that kind of pain where you’re stuck in between two truths. One part of you still sees her as everything, the memories, the warmth, the future you once believed in.
And the other part of you quietly knows… it wouldn’t have worked, not the way things were. That’s what makes it hurt so much. It’s not just missing her,
it’s missing the version of life you had with her… and the version of yourself that existed when she was still there.
People think moving on means forgetting, but it doesn’t. You don’t forget something that changed you. You just learn how to carry it without letting it break you every day. And yeah loving someone and knowing you can’t be with them anymore is one of the hardest things to accept.
But just because it ended doesn’t mean it wasn’t real. And just because you still feel something doesn’t mean you’re meant to go back.
Sometimes… it just means it mattered.
And maybe right now, you’re not meant to have her back.
Maybe you’re just meant to become someone stronger because of her. I know it hurts. I’m going through it too the same thing alon, just like you.. ^^
But we’ll get through it… slowly yeah alon..? We got this! 💪🏻🤍