my life feels like a mess and it really started going downhill after i met him. some people would say i’m better off now others wouldn’t… but deep down i feel like i’m starting to crack at my core. like i’m breaking into pieces and i’m scared i won’t even recognize myself soon. i already catch myself looking in the mirror and feeling surprised by who i see
i’ve never reacted like this over anyone before. even after my divorce 15 years three kids i still held it together. i didn’t go back even when part of me thought it might make my kids happy. i just told myself they’d adjusted and pushed forward without really understanding why
but this relationship… it has me acting like someone i don’t know. doing things that feel desperate irrational even cruel. it’s like i’ve lost control and he’s pulling all the strings
at this point even my own thoughts are telling me to leave but i’m still here. if i don’t reply tonight i’m either crying myself to sleep or doing something impulsive like driving hours just to show up and test how far his avoidance goes. acting like everything is fine just to see if he finally breaks or gives me some kind of truth… or if he just keeps pretending keeps avoiding keeps twisting things to make himself look right
and that’s the part that’s breaking me the most.
Last updated on:2026-04-21T00:23:02+05:30
Comments (4)
are you feeling pulled more by wanting answers from him, or by the part of you that still hopes he’ll finally show up the way you need?
the moment i realized i was doing things that felt desperate and out of character, i had to put distance between me and her.
that place where i looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize who i was becoming for someone, like i kept shrinking and twisting myself just to keep them. it messes with your head in a way nothing else does
Just leave. Like, I know that sounds minimising but you don’t have to live like this. Leave.