Why can't i let go of him even though he's cheating?

what is it that’s making you feel so sure he’s cheating, like what have you seen or felt that keeps coming back in your gut?

had to stop waiting for the truth from him and trust what i was feeling. if it feels off and he’s not being real with you, that’s already enough to step back even if you still love him

my ex kept denying things i KNEW were real and i started questioning myself instead of him, that part really breaks you

I want you to know that your feelings are completely valid. It is incredibly painful to feel like you're being lied to, and it’s no wonder you feel like you're going back and forth. It is okay not to have total clarity or all the answers right now.
​It is also okay to still love him deeply even when you are hurt. You can’t just turn off your feelings because of a betrayal. Sometimes we are so close to someone that it’s hard to see the situation clearly, and it can feel 'easier' to believe the lies just to keep the peace.
​To help you reflect on what you’re feeling, you might want to ask yourself:
​What does my 'gut' tell me when he is explaining himself? Does it feel like peace or like anxiety?
​If a dear friend told me this exact story, what would I want for them?
​Is the 'love' I feel right now tied to who he is being today, or who I wish he would be?"
​Red Flags & Signs of Cheating
​While every relationship is different, certain behavioral shifts often point toward infidelity:
​Defensiveness: Turning the tables and accusing you of being "crazy," "insecure," or "controlling" when you ask simple questions.
​Phone Shielding: Suddenly keeping the phone face down, taking it into the bathroom, or changing passwords.
​Vague Timelines: Giving overly detailed or unusually vague explanations for where they were or why they didn't answer the phone.
​Emotional Distance or "Love Bombing": Either pulling away entirely or, conversely, becoming unusually affectionate or gift-heavy out of guilt.
​Changes in Routine: New hobbies, staying late at work consistently, or "new friends" you’ve never met.
​How to Approach the Request for Transparency
​It is okay to ask for what you need to feel safe. In a relationship where trust has been broken (or severely shaken), transparency is often the only way to rebuild it.
​How to start the conversation:
​You can approach him by saying: "I am struggling to feel secure in our relationship because of the things I’ve noticed. I want to move forward, but I can't do that without total honesty. To help me rebuild my trust, I need us to be completely transparent with our devices and locations for a while."
​Why this is a fair request:
​Privacy vs. Secrecy: Everyone deserves privacy, but secrecy is what destroys relationships. If there is nothing to hide, sharing a phone or location shouldn't be a threat.
​Proof of Commitment: If he is truly fighting to stay, he should be willing to provide the "proof" needed to ease your mind.
​Location Sharing: This can be framed as a mutual tool for safety and peace of mind rather than a "tracking" device.

FunVibes449 a mth ago

I totally understand, thank you so much

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