i think i have accepted in my heart that we are done for good. even if he comes back i think i would reject him. i don’t deserve what he has put me through and i know i will heal from this. i know all of these things in my heart but i still check if he views my instagram story. i just want to know if he cares. i have removed him on every single app other than instagram, only because neither of us really use it so i didn’t feel the need when we broke up an he never posts so there was nothing to stalk. however, i went to a concert last night and posted a story about it. i am trying to have self control and not care but i have checked so many times if he has viewed it. i know the most beneficial thing for me to do would be to remove him off of instagram too but i am scared. that is the last thing that i can do. after that it is just up to me. there will be nothing else for me to remove him from. what if i do it and i still continue to struggle and think about him? i am scared to use my last card because then my hand will be empty. i know in my heart that i can and will get through this but that doesn’t help my fear. it is very hard feeling conflicted. i know what is best for me but i want to believe that i can be mature and handle leaving him friended. i don’t want to hate him and i would like to be on civil terms with him when this is all over but am i just keeping that mindset because i don’t want to fully let go? is maturity just an excuse i am making for myself? am i still holding onto this piece of him simply because i’m not ready to completely let go? i don’t know how i feel and i just want this to be over.
Last updated on:2026-04-29T08:39:31+05:30
Comments (7)
I know how you feel. I'm still checking to see if he leaves voice mails. That's the last thing I have left. Everything else is blocked. Hold on, It gets easier.
for me the shift came when i removed that last link. it felt terrifying and empty for a bit, but the checking stopped having somewhere to go and my brain slowly calmed down. it didn’t fix everything, but it gave me space i didn’t have before
do you feel calmer when you don’t check, even for a little while, or does the urge just keep pulling you back no matter what?
you don't have to decide this all rn. i took space with one of my exes for a year and when we reconnected we made up and became close friends. She is one of the people I know has my back. The night my most recent ex and I broke up she was the first person who i texted to call me back and I came over to her house and cried in her arms.
that last tiny thread you won’t cut because it feels like once it’s gone it’s really OVER. i kept one app too and checked it like crazy, telling myself i was “fine”… i wasn’t. that part where you just want to know if he cares hit me hard
I am in the same place. but I'm not going back, he cheating on me and that told me a lot about how he felt, no respect that's what I got from him.
I feel the same way and idk what to do either it scares me that I might get back with the guy that broke my heart even though he promised he wouldn’t