Three weeks no contact, and my emotions are regulated, I'm thinking logically, and I'm hopeful for the future. maybe I still have a few stages of grief to cycle through, but I've accepted it.
The breakup was amicable... he said he wants to be friends, but breadcrumbed me for a few weeks before he blocked me on everything, without mentioning/discussing any boundaries or timing.
I think he was overwhelmed, busy with work, struggling with long distance etc. It was sudden and confusing so I ruminated and fixated on every word to try and make sense of it. He might have avoidant attachment issues, he might just be being nice, avoiding conflict, doesn't know how to handle his emotions, might just not like me, and so on. It doesn't excuse his behaviour or how he handled the situation, but I was stuck looking for answers.
At this point, I can trust his words and assume he'll contact me when he's ready, or evaluate his actions and accept that he's done and moving on with his life. Either way, nothing I can do.
The lack of closure and control has been difficult, but the time and space I've had during no contact has been incredibly healing. Initially it felt like I was being punished (sat on the naughty step), but I know it was for the best for both of us.
I feel much better now, without clinging onto breadcrumbs and mixed messages. And I hope he's been feeling safer in the space he made for himself.
Still a little sad about the situation, I love him and I miss him, and I know he loves me too, or at least he did - and I'm happy it happened.
Last updated on:2026-05-03T04:03:26+05:30
Comments (7)
i’m stuck in the same exact boat my friend. it’s hard accepting that i’ll never have answers or closure but i know talking to him would only make things worse. if he said he is hurting from the break up id try to get back with him or help him and if he said he isn’t hurting i know id be sad and question our entire past relationship. i do feel like the time and space away is helping and i know it will all get better with time, but it definitely still comes in waves. i am glad that we broke up because i don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t love me, but it hurts. i’m glad i forced the truth out of him and he finally stopped leading me on. i feel you heavy on the breadcrumbs thing. i know we have both got this and will feel better with time. wishing you all the happiness in the world :) stay strong
Thank you lovely. Hope you're doing well! I can feel 30 days creeping up on me, and it's making me impatient... I know that he's probably just blocked me for vaguely until he feels better, but seeing an actual milestone so close is giving me a little chunk of delusional hope.
Either way it goes, I'm feeling better now, and I've grown as a person.
honestly, i had to stop waiting for them to come back “when ready.” once i shifted to accepting their actions as the answer, my head got quieter.
do you actually want friendship with him, or did that idea just make the breakup feel softer at the time?
Yes, I want to be friends with him.
We started off as friends, began flirting, and eventually fell for each other... but it doesn't have to be that serious!
I just want him in my life in whatever way makes him happy.
the overthinking every word part especially… i did that too when things ended without clear closure, trying to piece together meaning from silence. it slowly calmed down for me the same way, with distance.
Sorry you've been through this too... thank you for sharing.
Was there anything you did to make it easier, slowing down and focusing on other distractions, hobbies etc? Or just giving yourself time?