I wrote a letter for my ex today. for context; we broke up on april 5th and went no contact 2 days ago. this is the letter
Ive been thinking alot today about how you have already moved on. it hasnt even been a month. I know its not my business anymore, but all day at work today I couldnt stop thinking about what you said about you and David when I asked if you text him often when I came to grab my stuff and say our final goodbye. "were good friends". like I hadn't been saying for months now that he had a thing for you. like he didnt completely ignore me anytime i came into your work to bring you food and eat with you on break, but would sit and have a side conversation with you right in front of me. and you just talked right back. i dont want to believe that you planned this bc i still respect you immensely and i dont want to believe that someone who once told me that they "could never lose intrest" and that "we would always fight together through our problems" and "be by eachothers side through everything", could shut me out just to immediately move on and hurt me like this. Im 99% sure you guys are just friends, and no, you didn't cheat, but i sometimes wish you would have, because it would be so much easier to just be mad than to face the fact that you simply dont love me anymore. I hate the fact that you mentioned how he sent you a picture of his kid on the day that we went no contact. it made me start to imagine you going home to him and kissing him, and then bending down to pick up his kidso you could all go snuggle together. some of my favorite memories are of us talking about our future. i would always tell you how my biggest goal in life was to start a family one day. the thought that someone else will get to experience the plans that we sat and dreamed about tears me apart eveyday. I wonder if it ever hurts you. part of me regrets asking you to get me his number for me because i wanted to make more friends, but then I remember that that wasnt even the reason you got it. its because he asked for your number. not your snap. your number. and then i remember that you never even gave me his number. that isnt even the part that hurts the most. what hurts the most is that you got his number 2 days before we broke up and didnt even tell me until I asked if you had ended up getting his number for me 4 days AFTER we broke up. I know for the last 4 days it was none of my business, but the thought of sitting next to you on your bed for those last 2 days not knowing that some of those texts you were typing so enthusiastically weren't going to kayla or kenzie. they were for him. Im not proud of it, but the night before we broke up, when you were sleeping, your phone lit up and I looked at the screen. I wish you could experience what I experienced when i seen his name. the way all of the air in my lungs vanished. especially when i swiped down to see that you had been texting him about how you wanted a picture of his pet bunnies. i wish you could feel the pit for in your stomach the way i did when i noticed that you added the extra y's to the end of your "hey"s, the ones that had been missing from our messages for months now. I know i didnt bring any of this up when we broke up, but thats because I care about you, and i didnt want to open a wound that would only scar anyway. and plus, we were trying our best to end on good terms and you deserve that happiness, even if it turns out that you dont get any from me anymore. I dont understand why we couldnt keep the spark.
I hope you know if still exactly where you left me
Last updated on:2026-05-04T15:14:03+05:30
Comments (2)
do you think part of you is holding onto the “almost” of what you two had, more than who she is right now?
writing paragraphs i’d never send, replaying every little detail like it might change something. that part where you notice the small shifts, like the way they text someone else, that HURT in a way i still remember.