i got discarded 3 days ago after a 5 year relationship. since july 2025 we’ve been stuck in this painful on and off cycle and this is the third breakup. i’m anxiously attached and he’s avoidant so usually i’m the one chasing begging trying to fix things. but this time i went completely silent. full no contact.
honestly it’s been one of the hardest things i’ve ever done because all i want is to reach out to him. he wasn’t just my boyfriend he was my best friend long before we ever dated. he’s been part of my life for almost 9 years. i grew up with him. i spent basically my entire 20s loving him.
my emotions are all over the place. one minute i miss him so badly i can barely breathe then the next i feel angry and done with him then an hour later i want him back again. it’s exhausting. i keep wondering if he even notices my absence this time since i’m not chasing him like i always do.
part of me still believes he’s my soulmate. i keep thinking maybe if we tried couples therapy or something maybe this could still work. but instead i’m sitting here fighting the urge to text him every single day and trying to figure out who i even am without him.
Last updated on:2026-05-13T18:00:11+05:30
Comments (6)
i think the fact you haven’t reached out yet says a lot. i used to think if i could just explain things better or suggest therapy or love harder, we’d finally fix it. but eventually i realized i was carrying the whole relationship on my back by myself and calling it “soulmates.”
do you feel like you truly believe he’d meet you halfway this time, or do you mostly want relief from the panic of losing him
So sorry. It socks. Just try to do the work for you....
This is something I've had to ask myself too: do you want this forever? Whatever he is doing will not change for you or anybody else, he has to be introspective and go to therapy and do the work. What do avoidants do? Avoid.
i totally understand you, im the same wau :( just know that youre incredibly strong!! sending thoughts and prayers 💗💗
you’re doing incredible. as the anxious one in my relationship, you’re doing a great job keeping up no contact. he’ll come back to you eventually- but for right now, focus on yourself. trust me, I relate to the emotions being everywhere part waaaaayyyyyyy too much… but once you two find yourselves, you can work on each other. couples therapy would be my suggestion after this long.
I’m on the same boat of having to figure myself out too. you can do this.