I've read a few posts on this app. my situation is no where near as serious. I won't discuss anything about my personal life, except the fact that I, along with my now ex, are both teenagers. we got together 6 months ago, around 2 weeks after getting together I get the news that my dad lost his job. ever since then according to my ex, I've been acting diff. I don't think so, I thought I was acting the same. we had an argument about something that was honestly my fault. when I asked for space she called me out saying in running away but earlier she needed space and left the conversation while I panicked and couldn't stop scratching my skin from fear of losing her. the itch got so bad I had to cut myself with a knife to alleviate the pain. we sorted everything out but what stood out from that argument was that I said I never felt loved in this relationship which ig was partially true bcs I'm always the one apologizing regardless of if I was right or wrong, and I always try to go above and beyond for her while she often does the bare minimum. (I'll give am example to prove that I'm not over exaggerating to seem like I'm in the right. on our 1 month anniversary I made her a mini magazine themed around her, a nirvana pin, a portrait sketch of her, matching bracelets, and chocolate. if it doesn't seem like much js remember I'm 16. while she didn't even remember that we were together for a month.) later, I'll say 2-3 days ago she was in a trip w her fam on may 31st-june 1st, coincidentally, the day she was 6 months free from *********** (private information) was June 1st. now for a collection of reasons including events at home and the fact that I'm losing everyone I care about by leaving to another country because my dad lost his job. so I mssg her in the morning of may 31st, telling her I'm depressed. she said "okayy poooool byeee" I went offline for a bit trying to deal with the thoughts. at night she mssgs me asking if I'm okay. it's around 2 am mind you, all she's talking about is that I didn't congratulate her at 12 for going 6 months without ******* and she seemed convinced I was at fault even tho I said I was proud of her before and after 12. she said I forgot, she kept antagonizing me until I... left the phone telling her I love her good bye with the intention of k*lling myself. I'm fine now don't worry please I'm more than fine. she then apologized and said she dosent even care that I did this on her special day. as if I did it ok purpose. I was led to believe at that moment, that i wasn't worth 5 minutes of comforting, more than 12 hours before her big day. now June 2nd she texts me saying she actually is upset, but didn't say it before for god knows why. that slowly turned into another argument where words went back and forth. I give her the gift in school, I've been making it for weeks for her. it's 4 blind boxes, custom made boxes with 4 different models inside each box I made with clay representung her in different fits and moods. that's not important now. she kept hinting at breaking up but she also kept saying she wants to talk. I think she wanted to convince me that breaking up was a positive thing for this relationship since she's unhappy and she thinks for some reason she can speak on behalf of me and say that I'm unhappy when I'm very happy. she broke up with me. but as she does b4 we said our goodbyes she told me to be a man and do what makes her happy, as if Im the one the decided of we broke up or not, and when I weeped and told her that I needed her and that without her I'm forced to deal with my family alone. she somehow immediately stopped her tears to say "that's not my problem" and I may be hallucinating but I swear I heard a giggle after she said that. I'm aware this entire phone call happened with her friends in the background probably listening. I went off track sorry. I don't know what to feel now. I used to be scared to talk about her to my dad because of my religion. but I thought since me and her broke up and my dad told me to speak with him and he won't tell a soul what I tell him. I told him the whole story. he thinks this is good and that I've been angry and depressed in the past few months regardless of the fact that I'm usually a jolly person. I'm sitting alone with my thoughts, a part of me is happy because I have a slight sense of freedom and I know a lot of the time she treated me like I was optional, acted like the slightest disagreement between us was like running a marathon and "she can't go through any of it anymore" and any bit of bare minimum effort she puts in towards me is like lofting a mountain for her and she expects me to react when she says she's given me her all when it's literally the bare minimum. I'm not stretching this for dramic effect, I mean bare bare minimum. I want to show her from a distance that I'm happier than I've ever been and happier than she is. I want her to see me and regret breaking up with me. because no matter how much I love her, which is so so so much.she ended the best thing in my life and repeatedly refused when I begged for 1 last chance constantly saying I'll be better. I was ignored, she knew what she wanted from the start. she was just fishing me along the whole day when she knew what she wanted to do, break up with me.
what do I do, how do I deal with this
Last updated on:2026-06-03T17:42:12+05:30
Comments (4)
when you picture being happier than her someday, is it because you genuinely want your life back, or because you still hope she'll see it and change her mind?
This sounds really overwhelming. you're dealing with so much. I've been in relationships before that i wanted so badly even though they were hurting me. I felt like I had to prove myself and if I was chosen that would mean I have value. But I always did have value and you do too. I can tell just from this post you are so creative and you feel so much. that is in you. That is yours. She may have inspired you, she may have been a respite from your family, but you are so much more than that and I truly believe that you have the power to find and shape relationships with people that don't make you want to hurt yourself. You have so much love and creativity to offer. I know it's hard and it's probably hard to believe this right now, but the person that deserves your time, your love and your creativity the most is you. This is going to hurt so much. it's going to be really hard, but if you can use this as a catalyst to truly show up for yourself this could be a moment of real growth. I spent so much of my life starting at 14 going from one relationship to another because it was so hard for me to feel comfortable with being with myself. I look back and feel sad for all the time I spent half present and living for other people. I hope that you can learn from my mistakes and not have to wait 30 years to live for yourself
you've got a lot on your shoulders right now. when i got dumped, all i wanted was for my ex to regret it, but chasing that kept me stuck.
i was around your age when i tied my whole world to one person, and when it ended i felt like i had lost my relationship, my future, and my safe place all at once. what stood out to me here is how much you were carrying before the breakup even happened