One year after the breakup: my journey to self-discovery

A year ago, I went no contact with a person I was very much in love with. Our interests didn't align and I could feel the hurt each day I continued to hold on to something that didn't serve me. I had to make that decision for myself. Be selfish and choose myself. I knew what to do but at the same time that decision scared me. I remember the day I did it, I woke up in his house, his bed, smiled with/at him. I left his house and in the next 10 minutes when I got to my place, I blocked him everywhere. No warning no nothing! But deep down we both knew that that day was coming, maybe not that fast, but it would come sooner or later! Later that night he tried to reach out, I saw him try to call but it was already done. One of the toughest decisions I have ever made. The next few days, weeks, months were a turmoil, I was going through it, questioning my decision and always wondering whether I could have done things differently but the decision had already been made. I joined this community around that time and my posts from then, are a clear picture of what I was going through. About four months later, on his birthday, I broke no contact, I wasn't expecting much and I was okay with whatever outcome. We started talking again and kept in touch (messaging) for about two months (not consistent). We both confessed to each other that we still had feelings, he even confessed that each morning when he wakes up, he looks at a gift I got him and it reminds him of me, it was really heartfelt. He asked me to forgive him and not hold anything against him and I told him that I had already forgiven him even before he asked. We planned for a meet up, just to talk and he failed to communicate on the day we were to meet. I didn't ask, I just kept quiet and realized that things like these, are what made me leave in the first place and I didn't want to experience this again. So before the new year started, I sent him a very long text, told him, I appreciate the good times we had but I wasn't gonna carry this negativity into a new year. He said okay, he respected my decision and wished me well. I started the new year experiencing heartbreak again, afresh. This time, it was goodbye for good. I wish I could say I am still heartbroken but I am not. I made peace with things having ended. I accepted. I am living my life and building myself. For a year, I have not had someone new. I am not really interested in anyone currently. I am at peace and content. This community was a big part during my initial no contact days. I am now ready to leave and I just want to say thank you to everyone who in one or another came through for me.

Last updated on:2026-06-11T22:23:48+05:30