My ex reached out about a week ago. Said it would be nice to catch up and hes been thinking of me. It made me so happy to win the no contact. On the weekend was the last thing tying myself to him. There was a music event we were going to with mutual friends and a hotel already booked and paid for. It was agreed during the breakup (easter) I would stay there.
This is where I stuffed up. Once I checked into the room I was overcome with sadness. It was the most beautiful hotel I've ever stayed in, but I had no one to share it with. So I reached out saying he really needed to see this hotel.
I went to the event by myself and got to catch up with a lot of friends. I had a really fun time. I offered to my ex it would be ok if him and a couple of friends to hang out at the hotel after the event finished. We had a really nice time just chatting and hanging out. When they left, I realised I still had feelings for him.
The ultimate goal is to be friends with him, but im just not there yet. A previous version of me would hold on and cling to any version of him offered to me. But I need to honour myself. For in this moment, if I cant have all of him, I dont want any of him. I know we aren't right for each other romantically, so I need my heart to catch up.
He's sent a message saying how he really enjoyed hanging out and how he would always be there for me and doesnt want me to feel alone in everything im going through (my dad is terminal) so I've just responded with i still have feelings and I need time and space. So now I guess its up to me to wait to I feel im ready to reach out. I guess now I have that power.
Last updated on:2026-06-10T14:12:58+05:30
Comments (10)
Hindi ma bhejo
when he reached out and said he'd always be there for you, did part of you wish he was offering friendship, or did part of you wish he was offering another chance?
when he reached out, that was his way of offering friendship like we always planned. Unfortunately, im just not there yet. I think my heart is clinging onto hope for another chance, but my brain knows thats not a good idea and we aren't compatible as a couple.
i think what you did took a lot of strength. when i still had feelings, the only thing that helped was being brutally honest with myself instead of accepting the small pieces of connection i secretly hoped would become more.
i tried being friends with an ex before my heart was ready and one good conversation had me imagining a future again. it took me a while to admit that missing her and being ready for friendship were two completely different things.
100% this. I missed him so much, I thought not wanting any kind of intimacy with him meant I was ready. I really just missed hanging out with him. But now I know im not ready
He messaged back saying he understands and respects my decision. He is an amazing person, but he cant be in my life yet.
who knows, not giving you hope or anything but get your emotions and life in order and perhaps youd work out as friends.
after the breakup, I worked really hard to get my life in order, I worked on myself and now im in the best place mentally and physically I can be. After the weekend I can sit in this sadness knowing feelings are still there, but I can be proud in my boundaries knowing at this moment I cant have him in my life in any capacity
@DreamyWay697 wow thats great that youve moved on and realized this its amazing. I really wish and hope the best for you. Hopefully I eventually will get to the same mentality.